Stan: How does it feel to be shot?
Michael: Don't hurt. That's what you wanna know. And how it's been, doing OK.
Stan: Yeah, same thing. Nothing's changed. I'm getting more ass than a toilet seat and Axel here, he's getting fatter than ever.

Cinderella:It was my mother's old dress.
Lady Tremaine: It would be an insult to take you to the palace dressed in these old rags.

Jay: I am gonna hang your old ass by your turban.
Mooj: Oh, turban now! Do you see any fucking turban here? Do I talk like a turban guy? Do I say 'Hey Jay, you want a slippy? You wanna slippy?' Fuck you, okay? I was born in Brooklyn, Brooklyn, okay? My accent is a fucking Brooklyn accent, okay? Okay?

The only hand on your pecker is going to be your own!


Gunter: [about Johan] He then fled to America with his mother, a common Bavarian... what is word I'm looking for? WHORE!
Todd Wolfhouse: Gam Gam a whore? I think something must have been lost in the translation.

Is love a fancy or a feeling... or a Ferrars?


Nothing is impossible, Mr. Angier. What you want is simply expensive.

Nikola Tesla

Parole Board chairman: They've got a name for people like you H.I. That name is called "recidivism."
Parole Board member: Re-peat offender!
Parole Board chairman: Not a pretty name, is it H.I.?
H.I.: No, sir. That's one bonehead name, but that ain't me any more.
Parole Board chairman: You're not just telling us what we want to hear?
H.I.: No, sir, no way.
Parole Board member: 'Cause we just want to hear the truth.
H.I.: Well, then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear.
Parole Board chairman: Boy, didn't we just tell you not to do that?
H.I.: Yes, sir.
Parole Board chairman: Okay, then.

Well, aren't you just a big fat liar.

Bobby Ray

I'm done playing with this one. You want to play with me now?

Little Girl Vampire

Bond: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
Q: That's putting it mildly, 007!

"Shot in the back by Buford Tannen, over a matter of 80 dollars." What kind of future do you call that?

Young Doc

FREE Movie Newsletter