Let us have pirates, clowns, and a happy ending, or we shall send you back to Stratford to your wife!

Philip Henslowe

What we're talking about is money, real money, Amigo money. No dough, no show.

Lucky Day

By the time you get this message, I'll be in the dead zone. It came a little sooner than we thought, but this means you won't be able to send a message back. So, I just wanted to let you know that I don't need the message because I know everything you wanna say. Just remember it takes eight minutes for light to travel from sun to Earth, which means you'll know we succeeded about eight minutes after we deliver the payload. All you have to is look out for a little extra brightness in the sky. So if you wake up one morning and it's a particularly beautiful day, you'll know we made it. Okay, I'm signing out and I'll see you in a couple years.

Capa

[to a group of reporters] I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund.

Tom Dobbs

I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that some psychopath was trying to break the two of you up. Luckily, I woke up and I see that the world is just as it should be. For my best friend has won the best woman. I didn't buy you a gift. But this is on loan until you two find your song...

Julianne Potter

You do that to Apollo Creed, they'll put us in jail for murder.

Paulie

Four times... it means something, David.

Julie

Pai Mei: [punches through a block of wood from three inches away] Since your arm now belongs to me, I want it strong. Can you do that?
The Bride: I can, but not that close.
Pai Mei: Then you can't do it. What if your enemy is three inches in front of you, what do you do then? Curl into a ball? Or do you put your fist through him?

Count Rugen: As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old. Really that's all this is except that instead of sucking water, I'm sucking life. I've just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you. So, let's just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity so... be honest. How do you feel?
Westley: [moans in pain]
Count Rugen: Interesting...

Virginia: Hey! What's going on?
Happy Gilmore: Oh, uh, I was just looking for the other half of this bottle and there's some of it and there's some of it right there, too.
Virginia: Why don't you just put it down?
Happy Gilmore: Yeah, I know.

Lieutenant Daniel Taylor: Where are you boys from in the world?
Forrest Gump, Bubba: Alabama, sir!
Lieutenant Daniel Taylor: You twins?
Forrest Gump: No, we are not relations, sir.

Mathematics is the only true universal language.

Ellie Arroway

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