Clarice Starling: Where are you, Dr. Lecter?
Hannibal Lecter: I've no plans to call on you, Clarice. The world is more interesting with you in it.

Alpa Chino: Maybe I just knew I had to represent...
Kirk Lazarus: Hot damn!
Alpa Chino: ...because they had one good part in there for a *black* man, and they gave it to "Crocodile Dundee"!
Kirk Lazarus: [offended] Pump your brakes kid, that man's a national treasure.
Alpa Chino: I'm sorry a dingo ate your baby!
Kirk Lazarus: You about to cross some fuckin' line!

Squidward Tentacles: Mr. Krabs, the customers are getting restless.
Mr. Krabs: Listen up, boy get in there and make me customers some krabby patties.
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! What's wrong, boy?
Mr. Krabs: We're out of krabby patties?
SpongeBob SquarePants: How can we make more krabby patties without the secret formula?
Mr. Krabs: You've got to have that formuler memorized by now.
SpongeBob SquarePants: But as you are aware, sir, the Employee Handbook clearly states, and I quote, "No employee may in part, or in whole, commit the Krabby Patty secret formula to any recorded, written, or visual form, including memories, dreams, and/or needlepoint".
Mr. Krabs: [He sobbed] Oh, curse you, fine print!

Willenholly: Put the monkey down, and your hands up. Let's go, misters. Do you want to get shot? I didn't think so.
Jay: Look, man. She doesn't want to go back to the lab. And for the record, I ain't gay.
Willenholly: And for the record, while we're one the subject, I knew that wasn't a real little boy.
Jay: And for one more record, he loves the cock.

Willie Mays Hayes: Moby Dick? What you reading that for?
Jake Taylor: This happens to be a masterpiece of American Literature.
Willie Mays Hayes: Lynn turn you on to that?
Jake Taylor: Yeah... a long time ago.
Willie Mays Hayes: Well listen, if we ever get out of here, me and the other guys are going to a club later on tonight. You want to come with us?
Jake Taylor: Oh, I can't, I got some reading to do.
Willie Mays Hayes: [rolls his eyes] What man, you got a test or something? Jake, man why don't you just go over there and see her. Maybe she'll let you slide on a couple of these.
Jake Taylor: Well I would if I knew where she lived.
Willie Mays Hayes: That's easy! Just tail her home from the library.
Jake Taylor: You mean sit in my car and wait for her to get out of work and then follow her? That's kind of juvenille don't you think?
Willie Mays Hayes: [ponders for a second] Yeah!

Mayor Vaughn: And what did you say the name of this shark is?
Hooper: It's a carcaradon carcharias. It's a Great White.

Hey, Chon, you're lucky I didn't invest in that ridiculous "auto-mobile" idea. Yeah, that's gonna make a lot of money.


If you ever get tired of going steady with somebody that ain't around, I'm up for grabs.

John Milner

Get in loser, we're going shopping.


You're dumber than you think I think you are.

Jake Gittes

Tanya Peters: You're all man. I like that in my men.
Frank Drebin: You're coming on to me big time, sister. You're preying on me like a kitten with a fresh mouse. And we got a problem.
Tanya Peters: You're Jewish?
Frank Drebin: No. You're Rocko's girl, and in my book that chapter's called "look but don't touch."
Tanya Peters: I could have two lovers.
Frank Drebin: Kinky. But I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible.

C'mon! You got everybody excited about something being blowed up, and look at your little punk British ass.


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