She was very badly raped, you see! We were assaulted by a gang of vicious, young, hoodlums in this house! In this very room you are sitting in now! I was left a helpless cripple, but for her the agony was too great! The doctor said it was pneumonia; because it happened some months later! During a flu epidemic! The doctors told me it was pneumonia, but I knew what it was! A VICTIM OF THE MODERN AGE! Poor, poor girl!

Frank Alexander

I will not rest until I have you holding a Coke, wearing your own shoe, playing a Sega game *featuring you*, while singing your own song in a new commercial, *starring you*, broadcast during the Superbowl, in a game that you are winning, and I will not *sleep* until that happens. I'll give you fifteen minutes to call me back.

Jerry Maguire

Cock-smoker!

Jay

John Milton: So... have we been treating you well?
Kevin Lomax: Very well, thank you.
John Milton: And your wife? She had a good time?
Kevin Lomax: She sure has, it's been great. The while thing's been great.
John Milton: That's our secret. Kill you with kindness.

Stephanie: You're a virgin?
Luke Shapiro: No. Naw. I just haven't officially had sex yet.

You should be reading stories about bears that go shopping!

Detective John Kimble

Frank Pizzarro: Harris says I know where you're hiding.
Jack Ryan: First of all, I'm not really hiding. Second of all, you would never tell him where I was hiding because you're my friend, right?

Holy crap on a shit sandwich!

Drillbit Taylor

J. Jonah Jameson: My god, he was a hero. Spider-man truly was an asset to this city. He was...
J. Jonah Jameson: [the Spider-man costume is gone] ... a thief! A burglar. Get me Spider-man now! I want his head!

She's gone mental, Hermione has! I mean, not that she wasn't always. But, now it's out there in the open for everyone to see.

Ron

Dr. Abraham Erskine: "Are you ready?"
Steve Rogers: "Is it too late to go to the bathroom?"

This whisky is amazing, you will shit.

Big Goon

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