We're all going to die and they're never going to give me my license!

Michael

Mares eat oats, and does eat oats, and little lambs eat ivy. A kid'll eat ivy, too... wouldn't you?

Carl Stargher

Sorry you got killed by my dad.

Ruth Buggs

No, not Janey Briggs. She's got glasses. And a ponytail. Ugh, she's got paint on her overalls. What is that?

Jake

Sharpay Evans: [after falling in the pool and in an angry voice] What are you doing here?
Gabriella Montez: I'm your new lifeguard.

Father Ben: There are four voices on the recording.
Isabella Rossi: What does that mean?
Father Ben: Multiple demonic possessions.

[in passing a player in the locker room exposed in all his manhood] Don't stiffen on me.

Christina Pagniacci

Sounds like big trouble. You're going to need plenty of legal advice before this thing is over. As your attorney, I advise you to rent a very fast car with no top. And you'll need the cocaine. Tape recorder for special messages. Acapulco shirts. Get the hell out of L.A. for at least 48 hours.

Dr. Gonzo

"I want an escort to escort our penises into her vagina."

Lou [on phone to an escort service]

That's my bad, I was sending a tweet.

Ted

His name's Bison. I've tracked him through eleven major cities on four continents and never come close, not once. This guy walks through the raindrops. Anybody that's against him is either dead, or on their way.

Charlie Nash

Rod Tidwell: Who's your motherfucker?
Jerry Maguire: You're my motherfucker!

FREE Movie Newsletter