Brandi: Second suitor: if we were making whoopee, what sounds would you make?
Brodie: Wait, what's whoopee?
Brandi: You know, being intimate.
Brodie: What? Like fucking?

[praying over Heather's casket] Hi, I'm sorry. Technically, I did not kill Heather Chandler, but hey who am I trying to kid, right? I just want my high school to be a nicer place. Amen. Did that sounded bitchy?

Veronica Sawyer

In the three years I followed His ass around Jerusalem, did I ever get laid? Hell no. And I was in my prime. I could've been knee-deep in shepherd's daughters, not to mention fine-ass Mary Magdalene. She had a thing for dark meat, if you follow me.

Rufus

[on the phone] Mom, I can't talk right now, I'm having sex with a white woman.

Graham

Here's Johnny!

Jack Torrance

We'll have to dress it up a little. Disguise it. Give them enough reason to doubt it.

Ackerman

Amber: Was I the only one listening? I thought it reeked.
Cher: No, I believe that's your designer imposter perfume.

Old Woman: Excuse me, but can you blow me where the pampers is?
Gutter: What?
Old Woman: Can you blow me where the pampers is?
Gutter: What?
Old Woman: Can you show me where the campus is?

Sir Leigh Teabing: If it's that important to stop us, you'll have to shoot us.
[Points to Remy]
Sir Leigh Teabing: You can start with him.

Pat Healy: Does he bite?
Sully: A little bit. Get in.

Sydney: Yea? Well, you're forgetting one thing about Billy Loomis.
Mickey: What's that?
Sydney: I fucking killed him!

It happens every time, they all become blueberries.

Willy Wonka

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