Neighbor: Hey Roy, can you get sick from drinking piss?
Roy: I think you can.
Neighbor: Even if its your own?

I don't know Karate but I do know crazy, and I will use it.

Roy O'Bannon

I'm not great at farewells, so uh... that'll do, pig.

Tallahassee

It's called reading! Top to bottom, left to right... a group of words together is called a sentence. Take Tylenol for any headaches... Midol for any cramps.

Richard Hayden

No one cares about the man in the box, the man who disappears.

Robert Angier

Say, any of you boys smithies? Or, if not smithies per se, were you otherwise trained in the metallurgic arts before straitened circumstances forced you into a life of aimless wanderin'?

Ulysses Everett McGill

Bobby Boucher: So that's what opening up a can of whoop-ass feels like.
Coach Klein: Son, you just opened up a whole case of whoop-ass.

There are rich teams, and there are poor teams. Then there's 50 feet of crap. And then there's us.

Billy Beane

Ugh, I can actually hear you getting fatter.

Richard Hayden

Wyatt Earp: What makes a man like Ringo, Doc? What makes him do the things he does?
Doc Holliday: A man like Ringo has got a great big hole, right in the middle of him. He can never kill enough, or steal enough, or inflict enough pain to ever fill it.
Wyatt Earp: What does he want?
Doc Holliday: Revenge.
Wyatt Earp: For what?
Doc Holliday: Bein' born.

Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice.

Phil Wenneck

[whispering in Joe's ear] As long as the lady is paying for it, why not take the Vicuna?

Salesman

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