Officer Jim Gilpin: You ever hear the expression the simplest answer is often the correct one?
Detective Rhonda Boney: Actually, I have never found that to be true.

And now the moment every popular guy who's made a bet to turn a rebellious girl into prom queen has been waiting for.

Mr. Cornish

Biff Tannen: 300 bucks? 300 bucks for a couple of dents? Hey, that's bullshit, Terry.
Terry: No, Biff, it was horse shit! And it was all over your car! I had to pay old man Jones 80 bucks to haul it away!
Biff Tannen: Old Man Jones! Probably re-sold it too. I oughtta get something for that!
Terry: You want to get something for it! You can go inside and you can call Old Man Jones! If he wants to give you a refund, that's fine!

Marcus Burnett: You see what happens when you go off without me? You get into shit.
Mike Lowrey: Oh please, like shit don't happen when you're there.
Marcus Burnett: That - that ain't the point...

I was an only child. He was an only dog.

Narrator

Diane: Did you have fun tonight honey?
Mini: What? My first night turning tricks? Could have been better.
Diane: That's nice.

Tyler Gage: I'll do it.
Nora: Do what?
Tyler Gage: I don't know, whatever y'all trying to do out here...
Nora: You wanna lift me? Are you kidding?
Tyler Gage: Does it look like I'm kidding?

Danny, I'm having a party this weekend. [pauses a beat] How would you like to come over and mow my lawn?

Judge Smails

Charlie Fineman: Are you a faggot?.
Alan Johnson: Don't say faggot, you just don't call people faggot that's rude.
Charlie Fineman: To a gay guy it is, to you it's just a funny word like poundcake or pickle... You really need some Mel.
Charlie Fineman: [ordering tickets] Take one adult and one faggot.

"I don't want anymore trouble, do you?"

Colonel Nelec

I can say what I want - I still got Nazi bullets in my ass.

Grandpa

George: I used to think a wedding was a simple affair. Boy and girl meet, they fall in love, he buys a ring, she buys a dress, they say I do. I was wrong. That's getting married. A wedding is an entirely different proposition. I know. I've just been through one. Not my own, my daughter's. Annie Banks Mackenzie. That's her married name: Mackenzie. You fathers will understand. You have a little girl. An adorable little girl who looks up to you and adores you in a way you could never have imagined. I remember how her little hand used to fit inside mine. Then comes the day when she wants to get her ears pierced, and wants you to drop her off a block before the movie theater. From that moment on you're in a constant panic. You worry about her meeting the wrong kind of guy, the kind of guy who only wants one thing, and you know exactly what that one thing is, because it's the same thing you wanted when you were their age. Then, you stop worrying about her meeting the wrong guy, and you worry about her meeting the right guy. That's the greatest fear of all, because, then you lose her. It was just six months ago that that happened here. Just six months ago, that the storm broke.

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