President Andrew Shepherd: I want to buy her some flowers. That's what men do when they break a date.
Robin McCall: That's not what men do. I know no men who do that.

No, no, no, Houston, don't be anxious. Anxiety is bad for the heart.


It's okay, kid. It's me.

Indiana Jones

Baloo: What do they call you?
Bagheera: His name is Mowgli, and I'm taking him back to the man village.
Baloo: Man village? They'll ruin him. They'll make a man out of him.

Dan Paine: Who sent you?
Barney Ross: [to the bald Dan Paine] Your hairdresser!

Lightning: You doing real good, you big pussy!
Henry 'Razor' Sharp: That's not helping.
Lightning: It's okay, I'm eight hundred years old, I say what I want.

Roy: We've got a lot in common.
Sebastian: What do you mean?
Roy: Similar problems.
Pris: Accelerated decrepitude.

I'm not one of you! I'd rather die than stand alongside you!
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Narrator: Was it ticking?
Airport Security Officer: Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.
Narrator: Sorry, throwers?
Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.
Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating?
Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo.

John Clasky: They should name a gender after you.
John Clasky: Looking at you doesn't do it, staring is the only way that makes sense.
John Clasky: And trying not to blink so you don't miss anything.
John Clasky: And all of that and you're you.
John Clasky: It's just that you are drop dead crazy gorgeous.
John Clasky: So much so, that I'm actually considering looking at you again before we finish up here.

Airline Employee: Aisle or window, smoking or non?
Otto: What was the part in the middle?

You're an idiot, don't you ever make me wait outside the door again!


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