Roland Tembo: Peter, if you want me to run your little camping trip, there are two conditions: first, I'm in charge, and when I'm not around, Dieter is. All you have to do is sign the checks, tell us we're doing a good job, and open your case of scotch when we have a good day. Second condition: my fee? You can keep it. All I want in return for my services is the right to hunt one of the tyrannosaurs. A male, a buck only. How and when is my business. Now if you don't like either of those conditions, you're on your own. So go ahead, set up base camp right here, or in a swamp, or in the middle of a Rex nest for all I care. But I've been on too many safaris with rich dentists to listen to any more suicidal ideas, OK?

Andrew Clark: So... what's your poison?
[no answer]
Andrew Clark: ... Ok, forget I asked.
[first lines]
Allison Reynolds: Vodka.
Andrew Clark: Oh yeah? How much vodka do you drink?
Allison Reynolds: Tons.

Morty: [Morty and Michael go back to the past to Michael's birth, Michael's parents were arguing if he had a penis or not] Your mom must've had a good eyesight cause I didnt see anything.
Michael Newman: Haha very funny.

Alison Scott: I'm pregnant.
Ben Stone: With a baby?

Dr. Schiller: Yes I was saying that we're dealing with a megalomaniacal personality with possible paranoid schizo...
John McClane: Hey, hey! How 'bout you just skip down to the part where you tell me what the fuck this has to do with me.

I don't give a shit about the barracudas, fuck it! I'm building it anyway.

Max Fischer

What happened in the dungeon between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so naturally, the whole school knows.

Dumbledore

Poison... Poison Ivy.

Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy

Conviction, it turns out, is a luxury of those on the sidelines, Mr. Nash.

Parcher

Norman Ellison: I'm scared.
Wardaddy: I'm scared too.

She's got me, she's really clamping down!

Lloyd Christmas

I have no plans to die today..

Thor

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