You get us the mission, we'll light up the board.

Colonel A.J. Bullard

Schmucks are people too.


I guess the only thing to do now is meet his parents. I'm sure they're decent people. I mean they gotta be if they named their son Gaylord Focker.

Jack Byrnes

Winnie: [on seeing Eggs rubbing his crotch] No!... You don't scratch there in public. That's why they're called
Winnie: privates.

Joseph Palmi: You're the guys that scare me. You're the people that make big wars.
Edward Wilson: No, we make sure the wars are small ones.

I like your roof. It's good that its upstairs.

Alex Fletcher

Patrick: [with a mouth full of sample wedding cake] This cake is fantastic!
Emma: Shh. Please...
Patrick: You mix these two together, it tastes just like a ring-ding.
Emma: [Patrick shoves a fork of cake in her face] No. No, no.
Patrick: Ah!
Emma: No.
Patrick: Ah!
Emma: [she accepts the forkful of cake] it was yummy.
Patrick: It's super-duper.

Veronica Sawyer: Watch it Heather, you might be digesting food there.
Heather McNamara: Yeah, where's your urge to purge?
Heather Duke: Fuck it.

Carter Duryea: [Alex dims the lights, turns on soft music, and lights incense] Well, it looks like everything is perfect.
Alex Foreman: So why are you still talking?

Doug Madsen: Did he just say "cracker"?
Dudley Frank: "Cracker-ass."
Doug Madsen: Oh, perfect.

Mohamed Karaman: May God be with you.
Emily: And you as well.

Sam Loomis: Bob! Run out and get yourself some lunch, will you?
Bob Summerfield: Oh, that's okay, Sam, I brought it with me.
Sam Loomis: Run out and eat it!

FREE Movie Newsletter