I can count to potato!

Steve Barker

[waving to alien]
David Levinson: Hey, take a look at the earthlings. Goodbye!
Captain Steven Hiller: Y'all take care, alright, 'nothing but love for ya. I ain't got nothing by love for ya.
[to David]
Captain Steven Hiller: You think they have any idea what's about to happen to them?
David Levinson: Not a chance in hell. Goodnight!

Be careful. There're very poisonous. And Zam, there can be no mistakes this time.

Jango Fett

Nobody has ever lasted more than an hour in that room.

Gerald Olin

I dunno know what to do with this guy, Henry. He's an Irishman who doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, and doesn't chase dames. He's a grand knight in the Knights of Columbus, and he only goes out to play faro. Sometimes plays 15 or 20 hours at a time, just him against the house.

J.J. Singleton

All they got from Paulie was protection from other guys looking to rip them off. That's what it's all about. That's what the FBI can never understand - that what Paulie and the organization offer is protection for the kinds of guys who can't go to the cops. They're like the police department for wiseguys.

Henry Hill

Big Ju: There's too much male bonding in here.
Bertier: Enough!
Big Ju: What is going on here?
Bertier: He kissed me!

Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: You're playing with my mind.
Annie Savoy: I'm *trying* to play with your body.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: I knew it, you're trying to seduce me!
Annie Savoy: Well of course I'm trying to seduce you, for God's sake, and I'm doing a damn poor job of it... Aren't I pretty?
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: God, I think you're real cute.
Annie Savoy: Cute? Baby ducks are cute, I HATE cute! I want to be exotic, and mysterious!
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: You are, you're exotic, and mysterious, and... cute... and... That's why I'd better leave.

I could tell she knew what I was feeling, we all are orphans in Zombieland.


Priest: ...ask yourself if that corpse of a slut is worth dying for.
Marv: Worth dying for.
[shoots priest]
Marv: Worth killing for.
[shoots him again]
Marv: Worth going to hell for.
[shoots him again]
Marv: Amen.

Dee, when your allergies act up, take out your nose ring.


Bailey: You know, I read that when Bill Gates was younger, he ran a lemonade stand.
Tibby: No, you don't know that.
Bailey: Yeah I do, I read it in a magazine.
Tibby: No, where did you read that?
Bailey: ...In a magazine.

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