I found you, you fuck.

Leonard Shelby

Mr. McGuire: I want to say one word to you. Just one word.
Benjamin: Yes, sir.
Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?
Benjamin: Yes, I am.
Mr. McGuire: Plastics.
Benjamin: Just how do you mean that, sir?

Diego Delgado: I need a favor from you.
George: [narrating] The favor was to pick up 50 kilos of cocaine. Fifty. That's 110 pounds. Not exactly a small favor. Not like bumming a cigarette, for example. But what the hell. I didn't have anything better to do that day. It's not like I was on parole or anything.

You only get one shot at life. Why waste it on sleep?


I hate mummies. They never play fair.

Jonathan Carnahan

William Parrish: Do you know about money?
Joe Black: It can't buy happiness?

Jedediah: I don't want to be manhandled!
Larry: No! I will manhandle you Jedadiah! Whats your problem? Why can't you all just get along?
Jedediah: We're men, we fight okay? Thats what we do!
Octavius: Its kinda how we pass the time.

America is a wall, and you're on the other side.

Carl Lee

[to Lewis] I'm not allowed to look at the time machine, let alone drive it!


Well... We shot a lot of people together. It's been great. But today I retire, so if I do any shooting now, it'll have to be within the confines of my own home. Hopefully, an intruder and not an in-law, like at my bachelor party.

Frank Drebin

That's what you slipped in! That's what was on your shoe! AND THAT EXPLAINS THE ABRASION ON YOUR PALM! Damn I'm good!


Thorny: Say Farva, you wanna take this dispatch?
Farva: Hell, yeah!
Thorny: Yeah, I bet you would.

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