Wayne: So, Coach, how's your parole coming?
Coach Norton: Not good. The victim's whiny family keeps complaining
J.D.: God! What is their PROBLEM?

For those who live between Broadway and Grandville, between the ages of 11 and 12 who are free on Sundays and Tuesdays, this is the big leagues.

Buck Weston

Bud White: I know it. That prick Exley shot the wrong guys. I... If I could work Homicide like a real detective, I could prove it. But I'm not smart enough. I'm just the guy they bring in to scare the other guy shitless.
Lynn Bracken: You're wrong. You found Patchett, you found me. You're smart enough.

Gretel McAlbertson: Why are you stealing food?
Ratso Rizzo: I was just, uh, noticing that you're out of salami. I think you oughtta have somebody go over to the delicatessen, you know, bring some more back.
Gretel McAlbertson: Gee, well, you know, it's free. You don't have to steal it.
Ratso Rizzo: Well, if it's free, then I ain't stealin'.

Marty McFly, Jr.: Hey, Gram, could you just stuff the whole thing in my mouth?
Middle-Aged Marty: Don't you be a smart-ass!

Brody: Is it true that most people get attacked by sharks in three feet of water about ten feet from the beach?
Hooper: Yeah.
Brody: And that... and that before people started to swim for recreation - I mean before sharks knew what they were missing - that a lot of these attacks weren't reported?
Hooper: That's right.
Brody: Now this shark that... that... that swims alone...
Hooper: Rogue.
Brody: What's it called?
Hooper, Brody: [together] Rogue.

Russell Hammond: And you can tell Rolling Stone magazine that my last words were... I'm on drugs!
[crowd cheers]
William Miller: Russell! I think we should work on those last words!
Russell Hammond: I got it, I got it. Last words ... I dig music.
[silence] I'm on drugs!!

Stay in school!

Kelly

"You're never gonna believe where I'm callin' you from, man. I'm on a mountain, on my phone!"

[passing the main characters, as they begin to suspect they're in the '80s]

Michelangelo: [doing a handstand on a chair] I'm in the zone! There's literally nothing that can break me right now!
Splinter: The 99% cheese pizza?
Michelangelo: Starting to crack...

You don't own me, Howard. I'm not one of your teenage whores and I'm not some damn airplane!

Ava Gardner

Cheese, if you ever disrespect her again like that, I'm gonna pull your fuckin' card, okay? So you're saying you didn't do it, fine. We'll take your money, and we'll be on our way. When it turns out you're lying, I'm gonna spend every nickel of that money to fuck you up. I'm gonna bribe cops to go after you, I'm gonna pay guys to go after your weak fuckin' crew, and I'm gonna tell all the guys I know that you're a C.I. and a rat, and I know a lot of people. And after that, you're gonna wish you listened to me, 'cause your shitty pool hall crime syndicate headquarters is gonna get raided, and your doped-up bitches are gonna get sent back to Laos, and this fuckin' retard right here is gonna be testifying against you for a reduced sentence, while you're gettin' cornholed in your cell by a gang of crackers. 'Cause from what I've heard, the guys that get sent up Concord for killing kids, life's a motherfucker.

Patrick Kenzie

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