Alice Marshall: I'm 12 years old, dad. In caveman days I'd be having children of my own.
President James Marshall: That's what we call progress, young lady.
Harry: I just have one question: What's with the turtlenecks? I mean it's the middle of summer.
Erica: Well, I guess I'm just a turtleneck kind of gal.
Harry: You never get hot?
Erica: Not lately.
[heading towards an ox] I need to bite its hide... and wear its stomach like a unitard.Jeff Portnoy
This is worse than the time when I fell asleep and you put your dick in my mouth and took a picture.Terrence
I've known some pretty strange women in my time but this one, she's got the final word on strange.The Spirit
Ya know, sometimes I wished people was like dogs, Luke.Arletta
Our daughters are being traded like cattle for the advancement of men.Lady Elizabeth
Manny: Why is it called the "Gorge of Death"?
Buck: We tried calling it "The Big Smelly Crack" but people kept giggling.
Rufus: Greetings, my excellent friends.
Ted: Do you know when the Mongols ruled China?
Rufus: Well, perhaps we could ask them.
If I were your wedding, I'd be sleeping with one eye open...Liv
Julia: "Let's have sex on top of her! Let's use her like a bed!"
Dale: "That's crossing the line!!!"
If you see me comin' you better run cause I'm gonna lay you the fuck down!Detective Remy Bressant