Schmucks are people too.

Harry

What happened to going down the chimney?

Grand Santa

My heart's not cold, it's broken.

Selene

Lily Ford: Rob and Beth slept together.
Hud: Are you serious?
Lily Ford: Yeah, a few weeks ago. Beth made me promise not to say anything.
Jason Hawkins: Are you kidding me Lily? Rob and Beth sleeping together and you're not even going to tell me that?
Hud: Why wouldn't you tell me?
Lily Ford: [long pause] Why wouldn't I tell you?

Go home. Movie's over. Get the fuck out of here.

Sergio Roma

Tranny Hooker: [Kid and Razor are dressed in green catsuits] You two some kind of superheroes?
Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: Yeah, I'm the Green Champion and he's the Emerald Superpussy.

Sandy: Carl I want you to kill all the gophers on the golf course
Carl Spackler: Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they'll lock me up and throw away the key.
Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool. Gophers. The *little* *brown*, *furry* *rodents*.
Carl Spackler: We can do that. We don't even need a reason.

[Ray Castro is smoking]
Montel Gordon: You should really try a patch.
Ray Castro: Oh man, that shit doesn't work.
Montel Gordon: It worked for my cousin.
Ray Castro: Yeah?
Montel Gordon: Well he had to wear about 6 at a time, but it worked.
Ray Castro: So how is he now?
Montel Gordon: Oh he's dead.
Ray Castro: He's dead?
Montel Gordon: It wasn't because of the patch, man.
Ray Castro: So how did he die?
Montel Gordon: His wife shot him.

Harry: I didn't mean to blow her up, I just... lost control.
Ron: Brilliant!
Hermione: Honestly Ron, it's not funny! Harry was lucky not to be expelled.
Harry: I think I was lucky not to have been arrested actually.
Ron: I still think it's brilliant.

Nobody sits like this rock sits. You rock, rock. The rock just sits and is. You show us how to just sit here and that's what we need.

Albert Markovski

[narrating] Nicky's methods of betting weren't scientific, but they worked. When he won, he collected. When he lost, he told the bookies to go fuck themselves. I mean, what were they going to do, muscle Nicky? Nicky was the muscle.

Ace Rothstein

I love the stories. You know, about fallin' in love, and having love knock you around, and then the pressures of the world on you so tough it makes you feel small. You just want to give your soul to God. You might as well, your ass belongs to him.

Ray Charles

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