I've seen better tennis playing in a tampon commercial.

Helen's Stepson

Allison Reynolds: I'll do anything sexual. I don't need a million dollars to do it either.
Claire Standish: You're lying.
Allison Reynolds: I already have. I've done just about everything there is except a few things that are illegal. I'm a nymphomaniac.
Claire Standish: Lie.
Brian Johnson: Are your parents aware of this?
Allison Reynolds: The only person I told was my shrink.
Andrew Clark: And what did he do when you told him?
Allison Reynolds: He nailed me.
Claire Standish: Very nice.

Arthur: What was that?
Susan: French kiss.
Arthur: Really? Because the French always surrender, that was decidedly German.

Have some candy.

King Candy

Dr. Buddy Rydell: Also, if you are unable to stop masturbating please, do so without the use of any pornographic images depicting quote, unquote 'angry sex.' That having been said, I'm a pretty good guy, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised how much fun we can have together.
Dave Buznik: Geez, without slippy-flippy's or angry masturbating I don't see how that's possible.
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Sarcasm is anger's ugly cousin... from now on, unacceptable.

Zack Mazursky: I would NEVER rat you guys out.
Frankie Ballenbacher: Hey, we know that man.

President Andrew Shepherd: You have concerns?
Sydney Ellen Wade: Yes. Not many. A few. One. I have one concern.
President Andrew Shepherd: This wouldn't have to do with the fact that one of us is president?

If we die in Narnia what happens back home?

Peter Pevensie

Rune Haako: You didn't tell him about the missing Jedi.
Nute Gunray: No need to report that to him until we have something to report!

Polygraph Operator: I'm going to ask you a series of control questions. Are you currently in a seated position?
Klaatu: Yes.
Polygraph Operator: Are you human?
Klaatu: My body is.
Polygraph Operator: Do you feel pain?
Klaatu: My Body does.
Polygraph Operator: Are you aware of an impending attack on the planet earth?
Klaatu: You should let me go.

Yoda: I am wondering, why are you here?
Luke: I'm looking for someone.
Yoda: Looking? Found someone, you have, I would say, hmmm?
Luke: Right...
Yoda: Help you I can. Yes, mmmm.
Luke: I don't think so. I'm looking for a great warrior.
Yoda: Ohhh. Great warrior. Wars not make one great.

Biology and the prejudices of others conspired to keep us childless.


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