Natalie Hegalhuzen: Nice office.
Marsha Dillon: It's bullet-proof.

Reuben Tishkoff: If, God forbid, anything does happen to you, we will not be involved.
Terry Benedict: You better not be, Reuben. You better not be.

Dwayne, you've gotta learn to kick ass if you wanna be a peacemaker.

Sheriff

I just fell off a *donkey*!!!

Tibby

Reed Richards: Exposure to a high energy cosmic storm could advance our knowledge of planetary life.
Victor Von Doom: Same old Reed, always stretching, reaching for the stars.

Freakshow: What the hell are you doing with my wife?
Harold: Y-you said outside that we could have sex with her!
Kumar: Shit! Shit!
Freakshow: I most certainly did not!
Harold: Yes you did!
Freakshow: Did not!
Kumar: Yes you did!
Freakshow: Oh, no, I didn't.
Kumar: You did, you did.
Freakshow: You sure...?
Harold: You said it!
Freakshow: [laughing] My mistake! Well, since we're all here... How 'bout a four-some?

Louis Winthorpe III: Randolph. Mortimer.
Mortimer Duke: Winthorpe, my boy, what have you got for us?
Louis Winthorpe III: Well, it's that time of the month again. Payroll checks for our employees, which require your signatures. And no forgetting to sign the big ones!
Mortimer Duke: We seem to be paying some of our employees an awful lot of money.
Louis Winthorpe III: [laughs] Can't get around the old minimum wage, Mortimer.

Roxanne Ritchi: I knew you'd come back!
Megamind: Well, that makes one of us...

When love and duty are one, grace is within you.

Mother Superior

It's okay, it's just pain.

Flint Lockwood

Club Secretary: I say, Lawrence. You are a clown! T.E. Lawrence: Ah, well, we can't all be lion tamers.

Priest: What did you do Raymond?
Ray: Murder, father.
Priest: Why did you murder, Raymond?
Ray: For money.
Priest: You murdered for money?
Ray: Yes, father.
Priest: Who did you murder for money, Raymond?
Ray: You, father.

FREE Movie Newsletter