[reading inscription] If god did not exist it would be necessary to invent him.

Captain America

Time is running out here, Nick.

Lydia Mercer

You want the story? Let me spin it for you quick.

Lt. Muldoon

Becca Crane: Jacob, run!
[Jacob jumps above Becca and lands in his chihuahua form. Becca disbelievingly]
Becca Crane: A chihuahua?

No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food!

Long Duk Dong

Cotton's Parrot: Awk, don't eat me.
Will Turner: I'm not going to eat you.

Cal: The problem most men have is they don't know how to talk to women...
Andy Stitzer: You know what my problem is? I am not interesting. What am I supposed to say I went to magic camp? That I'm an accomplished ventriloquist? Oh, I am the 7th degree imperial yo-yo master.

No. He teaches no one the five-point-palm-exploding-heart technique. Now, Kiddo, one of the things I always liked about you is you appear wise beyond your years. Then allow me to impart a word to the wise. Whatever - WHAT-EVER - Pai Mei says, obey. If you flash him, even for an instant, a defiant eye, he'll pluck it out. And if you throw any American sass his way, he will snap your back and your neck like they were twigs, and that will be the story of you.

Bill

Dr. Abraham Erskine: "Are you ready?"
Steve Rogers: "Is it too late to go to the bathroom?"

I'm quite beside myself.

C-3PO

Nicky: He was trying to sell out a mole or something, but you got to him first.
Jason Bourne: [surprised] I killed him?

What kind of a fucked up tour is this?

Tourist

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