Jerry: Now you've done it! Now you have done it!
Joe: Done what?
Jerry: You tore off one of my chests!

Jay: Hey, wait a second! Aren't you the guy who fucked the pie!
Jason Biggs: You see! It's never "Hey! You're that guy from Loser" or "Hey you rocked in Boys and Girls." No, it always comes back to that fucking pie! I'm HAUNTED by it!
James Van Der Beek: You put your dick in a pie!

Julius Levinson: Hey don't you tell him to shut up! You'd all be dead now if it weren't for my David! None of you did anything to prevent this!
Gen. Gray: There was nothing we could do!
Julius Levinson: Oh don't give me that! You knew about this for a long time! What with that spaceship you found in New Mexico! What was it called... Roswell, New Mexico! And that other place... uh... Area 51, Area 51! You knew then! And you did nothing!
President Thomas Whitmore: Mr. Levinson, you're mistaken. There is no Area 51. There is no spaceship:
Albert Nimzicki: Uh... Mr. President. That's not entirely accurate.
David Levinson: What, which part?

Randy Daytona: You got me swatting flies now?
Master Wong: Not hit flies. You hit bees!

So it turns out there's life on other planets. Boy, this is really going to change the Miss Universe contest, you know what I mean?

Jay Leno

The Joker: I recently had a tragedy in my life. Alicia...
[lays the mask that Alicia wore on the table]
The Joker: ... threw herself out the window.
Vicki Vale: Oh, my God...
The Joker: But, you can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs.
[breaks the mask and starts giggling]

Mary: If you ever see it again, whatever it is, don't catch it, just call me and we'll call somebody and have them take it away.
Gertie: Like the dog catcher?
Elliot: But they'll give it a lobotomy or do experiments on it or something.

Neo: I suppose the most obvious question is, how can I trust you?
The Oracle: Bingo. It is a pickle. No doubt about it. The bad news is there's no way if you can really know whether I'm here to help you or not, so it's really up to you. You just have to make up you on damned mind to either accept what I'm going to tell you, or reject it.

No, no. No, see, this is a really shit idea. You know why? Because it's really obviously a shit idea.

Jim

If Obi-Wan caught me doing that, he would be very grumpy.

Anakin

She's not just a computer.

Theodore

To-da-loo, motherfucka!

Mr. Chow

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