Alma Jr., Age 13: Daddy, tell about when you rode broncs in the rodeo.
Ennis Del Mar: Short story honey. Only 'bout three seconds I was on that bronc. Next thing I knew, I was flyin' through the air... only I wasn't no angel like you and Jenny here; didn't have no wings. And that's the story of my saddle bronc career.

Jane: Also, we know how much you loved Mom's car so we're giving it to you.
Eleanor "Nell" Vance: you're taking away my home, and giving me a twenty year old car? Who are you?

Mr. Krabs: That pirate's gonna destroy our world!
Squidward Tentacles: Aren't you overreacting a bit?
Mr. Krabs: Welcome to the apocalypse, Mr. Squidward. I hope you like wearing leather.
Squidward Tentacles: I prefer suede.

Father Brian Finn: I keep thinking about what you said in seminary, that the life of a priest is hard and if you can see yourself being happy doing anything else you should do that.
Father Havel: That was my recruitment pitch, which is not bad when you're starting out because it makes you feel like a marine. The truth is you can never tell yourself there is only one thing you could be. If you are a priest or if you marry a woman it's the same challenge. You cannot make a real commitment unless you accept that it's a choice that you keep making again and again and again.

Rick: You came back from the desert with a new friend, didn't you Beni?
Beni: What friend? You are my only friend.

Annie: Right, I'll just go get my things, and then let's fix the country, shall we?
Prime Minister: Yeah, I can't see why not.

Danny Ocean: What are you doing?
Rusty Ryan: Sleeping. Why are you dressed?
Danny Ocean: It's 5:30, day of. Gotta go, let's go!
Rusty Ryan: It's 11:30. The night before.

Jane's Aunt: Must be so hard to watch your younger sister get married before you.
Jane: Yes. Then I remember that I still get to have hot hate sex with random strangers and I feel SO much better!

Society tolerates only one change at a time.

Nikola Tesla

Come back, you fat, bearded bitch!

Dark Helmet

So I exist in this wasteland, hunted by scavengers.

Max Rockatansky

[picking up another phone] Hello, this is Mr. Foreman. If you give my daughter an alcoholic beverage or a joint, I will hunt you down and neuter you.

Dan Foreman

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