Nicholas: What's that?
Conrad: [signs document] This... is... the bill.
Nicholas: Do you want to split it?
Conrad: [exhales] Oh God yes! I'll take some of that...
[shows Nicholas enormous number at bottom]
Nicholas: [shocked] Oh my God.

Vacation's when you go somewhere... and you don't ever come back.

Mrs. Gump

Your father would be ashamed of you.

Rachel Dawes

Royal: Chas, let me finish here. I've got six weeks to set things right with you and I aim to do it. Will you give me a chance?
Chas: No?
Royal: Do you speak for everyone?
Chas: I speak for myself.

I'm trying to win coach. I ain't trying to disrespect nobody, but winning is the only thing I respect.

Willie 'Alien' Beamen

[223 leaves the store]
He Zhiwu, Cop 223: Somehow everything comes with an expiry date. Swordfish expires. Meat sauce expires. Even cling-film expires. Is there anything in the world which doesn't?
[223 gives a can of pineapple to a passing street person. The street person looks at the can and throws it on the ground]
Street person: It's expired. Don't want it.
He Zhiwu, Cop 223: You sure?

[after revealing a secret to Sarah] You know, I really shouldn't drink this without a mixer.


It's okay, kid. It's me.

Indiana Jones

Peter Gibbons: Look, I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired of being pushed around. Aren't you?
Samir: Yes, Peter, but I'm not going to do anything illegal.
Peter Gibbons: Samir, this is America.

Elliot: [when Boog asks where are the toilets in the forest] Don't look now, but I see a little bush with your name written all over it.
Boog: A bush? Are you serious?
Elliot: Go on. Its just like riding a bicycle, only... you're crapping on it.

I was hiding under your porch because I love you.


Pete Hansen: What's wrong, Pookie?
Jenna: Pookie? Uh... *Pukie!* You're married!

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