It was beautiful magic. Wondrous to behold.

Horace Slughorn

William: I'm Ulrich von Leichtenstein, from Guilderland, and these are my faithful squires.
[gestures to Roland]
William: Delves, of Dogington,
[gestures to Wat]
William: and Falhurst, of Crew.
Chaucer: I'm Richard the Lionheart. Pleased to meet you. No, wait a minute, I'm Charlemagne. No, I'm Saint John the Baptist!
[William draws a large knife]
William: All right, hold your tongue sir, or lose it.
Chaucer: Now you see *that* I do believe, Sir Ulrich.

War has begun.


Brodie: You have my Punisher War Journal #6, my copy of "Fletch" and the remote control to my TV. Now, I know it's going to be hard to give this stuff up because of it's sentimental attachment...
Rene: Sentimental attachment? Look, if I have any of that crap it's because you brought it over my house and left it there.
Brodie: Okay, then let's talk about coming up with a schedule for visitation rights.
Rene: For what?
Brodie: For the mall. I figure you can take the odd days, I'll take the even days and weekends. When there's any special feature like a sidewalk sale...
Rene: [interrupting] Brodie, Brodie...
Brodie: ...or a boat show...
Rene: [interrupting] Brodie! I've always taken you with a grain of salt. On your birthday, when you told me to do a striptease to the theme of "Mighty Mouse", I said okay. On prom night at the hotel when you told me to sleep under the bed in case your mother burst in, I did it. And even during my grandmother's funeral when you told my relatives that you could see her nipples through her burial dress, I let that slide.
Rene: [Grabs Brodie by the ear] But if you think I'm gonna suffer any of your shit with a smile now that we're broken up, you're in for some serious fucking disappointment.

Thelma: Are you sure we should be driving like this, I mean in broad daylight and everything?
Louise Sawyer: No we shouldn't, but I want to put some distance between us and the scene of our last goddamn crime.

Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the Biff Tannen Museum! Dedicated to Hill Valley's #1 Citizen. And America's greatest living folk hero. The one and only Biff Tannen. Of course we've all heard the legend, but who is the man? Inside you will learn how Biff Tannen became the richest and most powerful man in America. Learn the amazing history of the Tannen family, starting with his great-grandfather, Buford 'Mad Dog' Tannen, the fastest gun in the West. See Biff's humble beginnings and how a trip to the race track on his 21st Birthday made him a millionaire overnight. Share in the excitement of a fabulous winning streak that earned him the nickname "The Luckiest Man on Earth." Learn how Biff parlayed that lucky winning streak into the vast empire called Biffco. Discover how, in 1979, Biff successfully lobbied to legalize gambling and turned Hill Valley's dilapidated courthouse into a beautiful casino-hotel!

Television announcer

Ralston: Man, whatever you do, don't stare.
Chris McConnell: Look, I'm not gonna stare, come on.
Jerry: None of us would. But you get there, and you feel yourself not staring.
Ralston: Then you think, "it's obvious I'm not staring." So you look, and you think, "I'm staring." So you say, "this is ridiculous," and you take a GOOD LOOK. And you think, "I'm looking at a man who, when he washes his face, loses the bar of soap."
Chris McConnell: [laughs] Thanks guys, all right.
Ralston: Don't say we didn't warn you.

Brandi: Suitor number 3, is your kiss like a soft breeze, a firm handshake or a jackhammer?
Gil Hicks: Definitely a jackhammer, I'm in there with some pressure and when I'm done, you're not the same as before. You're changed.
Brodie: Where do you come up with this shit? That's the cheesiest response to an honest question I have ever heard. I saw you kiss and it wasn't anything like that.
Bob Summers: [Chuckling] Suitor #2, you'll have to wait until you're addressed before you respond.
Brodie: Richard Dawson, why don't you just go back to your podium until it's time to play The Feud. All right?
[Audience laughs]
Gil Hicks: Who the hell did you see me kiss?
Brodie: Some dude backstage. I don't know who he was but he seemed unimpressed.
Gil Hicks: I didn't kiss any guy backstage. I swear. I'm not gay.
Brodie: Hey, Suitorette, this guys a homophobe. You heard how repulsed he sounded. Is this the kind of guy you want to spend a vacation with? This hate-monger?
Gil Hicks: I don't hate gay people.
Brodie: So you love them?
Gil Hicks: Yes. I mean no.
Brodie: Textbook closet case self-loather. Can't be comfortable with his own sexuality.

Jason Bourne: Who has a safety deposit box full of... money and six passports and a gun? Who has a bank account number in their hip? I come in here, and the first thing I'm doing is I'm catching the sightlines and looking for an exit.
Marie: I see the exit sign, too, I'm not worried. I mean, you were shot. People do all kinds of weird and amazing stuff when they are scared.

John Smith: Did you hear the helicopter dropping me off that night for our anniversary dinner?
Jane Smith: No. Oh, percussion grenades. I was partially deaf that evening.

Fail me and you get me next semester.


Roland: This is asinine. If you want to kill yourself, go ahead, but do it without wasting one of our ships.
Neo: You have to believe me. I have to go.
Roland: Bullshit. I'm captain of this ship, *I'll* say where it has to go. And believe me, this ship will go to hell long before I let you take it anywhere!
Niobe: He can have mine.
Roland: Niobe! You can't do that!
Niobe: Don't you even begin to tell me what I can and can't do with my ship after your little speech.

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