You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hanging out in front of places selling weed and shit. Like, maybe be an animal doctor. Why not me? I like seals and shit. Or maybe an astronaut. Yeah... be the first motherfucker to see a new galaxy, or find a new alien life form... and fuck it. People would be like, "There he goes. Homeboy fucked a Martian once."


Miss Moneypenny: James! Where have you been? I've been searching all over London for you.
Miss Moneypenny: 007 is here sir.
James Bond: Moneypenny! What gives?
Miss Moneypenny: Me, given an ounce of encouragement. You've never taken me to dinner looking like this. You've never taken me to dinner...
James Bond: I would, you know. Only "M" would have me court-martialed for... illegal use of government property.
Miss Moneypenny: Flattery will get you nowhere - but don't stop trying.

Go, trig boy! It's your birthday!

Garage Band Member

Tommy: Hey, what's your name?
Helen: Helen.
Tommy: That's nice, you look like a Helen. Helen, we're both in sales. Let me tell you why I suck as a sales man. Let's say I go into a guy's office, let's say he's even remotely interested in buying something. Well then I get all excited. I'm like Jojo the idiot circus boy with a pretty new pet. Now the pet is my possible sale. Hello there pretty little pet, I love you. And then I stoke it, and I pet it, and I massage it. Hehe I love it, I love my little naughty pet, you're naughty.

Prince Humperdinck: I think your bluffing.
Westley: It's possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all.

Jay: Hey, we're betting on what you did before you got here, for a living.
Marcus: I'm saying insurance.
Robert McCall: I was a pip, you know, like Gladys Knight and the Pips.

Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger. Only your hatred can destroy me.

Darth Vader

Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? [Sees judge Smalls in the same hat] Oh, it looks good on you though.

Al Czervik

Retain, even in opposition, your capacity for astonishment.

Thaddeus Stevens

Pinto: What's your major?
Pinto's Date: Primitive cultures.

Steve Rogers: [relieved] Nick Fury, you son of a bitch!
Nick Fury: Whoa ho ho! You kiss your mother with that mouth?

A turkey stuffed inside a pizza, the whole thing deep-fried and dipped in chocolate.

Mayor Shelbourne

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