If this shit wasn't illegal guys, we'd be up for the Nobel Prize.

Reese Feldman

John du Pont: [from trailer] You're going to do great things, Mark.
Mark Schultz: I'm gonna give you everything I have.

1st Jailer: [looking in records] Miriam, wife... Tirzah, daughter.
Drusus: Yes, they're the ones. Are they alive?
1st Jailer: [examining the records, he is pessimistic] East section... lower level. Cell two. The jailer in that wing will know.
[Drusus is led down various passages into the lower dungeons]
Drusus: How long since you've seen them?
2nd Jailer: Never - and I've been here three years. But they're alive, all right.
2nd Jailer: [after demonstrating a slot in the bottom of the cell door] The food disappears.

Colonel, there's a native doing the funky chicken.

Bulldozer Pilot

China Girl: You look like trouble.
Doc: Trouble? I'm a poet, with flowers of all things.
China Girl: And a gun... it's a big gun.
Doc: It's a big town. Come on Yin, all I want is a chance.

Rusty: Saul, you're the best there is. What do you want?
Saul: Nothing. I've got a duplex now, wall-to-wall, goldfish. I'm seeing a nice lady who works the "Unmentionables" counter at Macy's. I've changed.
Rusty: Guys like us don't change, Saul. We either stay sharp or we get sloppy, we don't change.

[after Cosmo's car breaks down]
Don Lockwood: Don't tell me, it's a flat tire.
Cosmo Brown: I can't undertand it. This car hasn't given me a lick of trouble in nearly 6 hours.

Sam 'Spike' Witwicky: [talking into phone] My car is alive...
[from trailer]
Sam 'Spike' Witwicky: [to Bumblebee] You're my Guardian?

Elwood: Oh no.
Jake: What the fuck was that?
Elwood: The motor. We've thrown a rod.
Jake: Is that serious?
Elwood: Yup.

You've made me a very rich woman.

Ava Lord

Dennis: Excuse me, can I just stop you there.
Whit: Yes...?
Dennis: Oh, I don't have anything to say... I just wanted to stop you there.

Captain Dickson: We Jump Street, and we 'bout to jump in yo ass.
Jenko: Mmmm-hmmm.
Schmidt: Right in the crack.

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