Mark Hanna: You gotta stay relaxed. Do you jerk off?
Jordan Belfort: Do I jerk off? Yeah.
Mark Hanna: How many times a week?
Jordan Belfort: Like um... three, three or four times maybe.
Mark Hanna: All right, pump those numbers up, those are rookie numbers in this racket. I myself, I jerk off at least... twice a day.
Jordan Belfort: Wow.

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William Stryker: Don't worry, we'll stop him.
Weapon X General: I just spent half a billion dollars making him indestructible!

General Hummel: "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." Thomas Jefferson.
John Mason: "Patriotism is a virtue of the vicious," according to Oscar Wilde.

[drunk, rapping] Back up in your ass with the resurrection!

Samir

Go Go: Why are you stopping?
Wasabi: It’s a red light.
Go Go: There’s no red lights in car chases!

You can take the girl out of the honky tonk, but you can't take the honky tonk out of the girl.

Bobby Ray

Nicholas Garrigan: I didn't want him to die though.
Idi Amin: But you did it. Why? You want to know why?
Nicholas Garrigan: Yes.
Idi Amin: You did it because you love me.

Well, you must be Jake's hot date. I'm Melanie, Jake's snotty Yankee bitch wife whom he refuses to divorce.

Melanie Carmichael

You want to find an outlaw, hire an outlaw. You want to find a Dunkin' Donuts, call a cop.

Leonard Smalls

The Gods may be on your side, but your pain has just begun.

Hyperion

Piano Teacher: Not bad... Mr. Connors, you say this is your first lesson?
Phil: Yes, but my father was a piano MOVER, so...

That semester at junior college sure didn't make you any smarter.

Frank

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