Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Why was your hand on my dick?
Deputy Trudy Wiegel: I dreamt that I was driving in the Indie500!

Johnny Rico: I hear you got a bug problem ma'am?
Corporal Birdie: Ah, stuff it, Rico!

Simonides: Judah-Ben Hur! You've come back to us like a returning faith! Oh Judah, I should like to laugh again. Let us laugh!
Judah Ben-Hur: We will laugh.
Simonides: There will be joy again in this house! We will celebrate! Among the dust and cobwebs...
[Simonides sobs]

Mitch: Please be honest with me. Tell me this is the first time this has ever happened.
Heidi: Well, do you want me to be honest or do you want me to tell you this is the first time?

Ed McDonnough: We finally go out with decent people and you break his nose. That ain't too funny, Hi.
H.I.: His kids seemed to think it was funny.
Ed McDonnough: Well they're just kids.

Billy: We did it, man. We did it, we did it. We're rich, man. We're retirin' in Florida now, mister.
Captain America: You know Billy, we blew it.

Andrew Paxton: [about Margaret] Actually I picked up on all her little hints. This woman is about as subtle as a gun.
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Great Scott!

Dr. Emmett Brown

Josh: Will you please leave? I got a deadline to meet. God.
Billy: Who the fuck do you think you are?
Josh: HEY!
Billy: You're Josh Baskin, remember? You broke your arm on my roof! You hid in MY basement when Robert Dyson was about to rip your head off!
Josh: You don't get it, do you? This is important!
Billy: I'm your best friend. What's more important than that, huh?
[Turns to leave]
Billy: And I'm three months older than you are, ASSHOLE!

Boog? What's that short for? Booger?

Ian

Pitka: How do you do? Shrimp?
Coach Cherkov: What did you call me?
Pitka: I'm sorry I didn't catch your gnome. NAME! You are a midget.

Preferred customer my ASS!

Medieval Times host

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