The store was closed, but the salesman said he could wait if we hurry. But we were delayed en route when a stingray in front of us killed a pedestrian.

Raoul Duke

The time has come for me to meet my maker and to repay him in kind for all that he has done.

V

There's ways of killing yourself without killing yourself.

Tony Manero

Lois Einhorn: What would you know about pressure.
Ace Ventura: Well, I have kissed a man.

Are those sad tissues or happy tissues?

Kemo

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Did you find him?
Roland Tembo: Just the parts they didn't like.

Gru: Do you speak Spanish?
Miss Hattie: Do I look like someone who speaks Spanish?
Gru: It's just that your face is so... Como es burro.
Miss Hattie: Oh! Why, thank you!

Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way?

Derek Zoolander

George Stark: You're late!
Albert: For what?
George Stark: Fair enough.

Family Feud Steve Harvey, how could he throw us under the bus like that?!

Cedric

Lex: He's gonna eat the goat?
Tim: Excellent!
Donald Gennaro: What's the matter, kid? You never had lamb chops?
Lex: I happen to be a vegetarian.

Sanford: Hey, Dante, I'm gonna grab a Gatorade.
Dante Hicks: If you grab a Gatorade, then everyone's gonna grab one.
Sanford: So?
Dante Hicks: So, who's gonna pay for all these Gatorades?
Sanford: What do you care, you shoe polish-smelling motherfucker?
Dante Hicks: Hey, I have a responsibility here. I can't have everybody grabbing free drinks.

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