Yeah, well, we all have our special talents.

Tibby

A great light has gone out in the universe.

Sinestro

Mary Jane: I wanna... act. On stage.
Peter Parker: Really? Well that's perfect. You were awesome in all the school plays.
Mary Jane: Really?
Peter Parker: Yeah. I cried like a baby when you played Cinderella.
Mary Jane: Peter, that was first grade.
Peter Parker: Well, even so...

They say you have a monster. They say your lands are cursed. I am Beowulf, and I will kill your monster.

Beowulf

Michael Bolton: You haven't even been showing up for work, and you got to keep your job.
Peter Gibbons: Actually I'm being promoted.

Needy Lesnicky: I thought you only murdered boys.
Jennifer Check: I go both ways.

Andrew Largeman: It looks nice in here.
Gideon Largeman: Yeah, we've been doing some work to the place.
Andrew Largeman: Really?
Gideon Largeman: No, I don't know why I just said that.

I don't want to know who you use, as long as they're not complete muppets.

"Hatchet" Harry

Bender: [to himself] Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says...
[the ceiling gives way]
Bender: Oh, shit!

Your watch is stuck in my pubes.

Deputy Trudy Wiegel

Fear does not work as long as there is hope.

President Snow

Jay: So all we's gotta do is stop this fuckin' movie from getting made!
Holden: Yeah, and forego the hundreds of thousands of dollars you would be entitled to in the process. What are you, fucking retarded? I mean, I don't think I'm alone in the world in imagining this flick may be the worst idea since Greedo shooting first. You know it, but... a Jay and Silent Bob movie? Feature length? Who'd pay to see that?

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