[to two Korean drug dealers] You dress White, talk Black, and drive Jew.

Tom Ludlow

People will say we're in love.

Hannibal Lecter

Thurgood Jenkins: [to Mary Jane] Listen, I really like you. I was just wondering maybe if you're interested we can go out later and get some ice cream or something...
Scarface: OOH! MOTHER FUCKER SAID ICE CREAM!
Brian: BLAH BLAH ICE CREAM! YOU'RE SUCH A DORK, MAN!
Thurgood Jenkins: Damn!

When I was a young boy I used to look at pictures of naked ladies, hence my right hand is very strong. I touched myself more than a third base coach.

Tom Dobbs

Chaucer: You're good. You're very good. My lords, my ladies, and everybody else here not sitting on a cushion!
[crowd roars]
Chaucer: Today... today, you find yourselves equals.
[crowd roars]
Chaucer: For you are all equally blessed. For I have the pride, the privilege, nay, the pleasure of introducing to you to a knight, sired by knights. A knight who can trace his lineage back beyond Charlemagne. I first met him atop a mountain near Jerusalem, praying to God, asking his forgiveness for the Saracen blood spilt by his sword. Next, he amazed me still further in Italy when he saved a fatherless beauty from the would-be ravishing of her dreadful Turkish uncle.
[crowd, boo]
Chaucer: In Greece he spent a year in silence just to better understand the sound of a whisper. And so without further gilding the lily and with no more ado, I give to you, the seeker of serenity, the protector of Italian virginity, the enforcer of our Lord God, the one, the only, Sir Ulllrrrich von Lichtenstein!
[crowd roars]
Chaucer: Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.

Five, four, three, two, one... Ready or not, here I come.

Peter Parker

Bitch, hang up the phone and star-69 his ass!

Maureen Evans

Having children, is, it's like living with little mini drug addicts. You know, they're laughing one minute, and then they're crying the next, and then they're trying to kill themselves in your bathroom for no good reason. They're very mean and selfish and they burn through your money and they break sh-.

Dave

Donna: There were three guys around the same time...
[giggles]
Tanya: You shady lady!

Admiral Piett: Lord Vader, our ships have completed their scan of the area and found nothing. If the Millennium Falcon went into light-speed, it'll be on the other side of the galaxy by now.
Darth Vader: Alert all commands. Calculate every possible destination along their last known trajectory.
Admiral Piett: Yes, my Lord. We'll find them.
Darth Vader: Don't fail me again, Admiral.

Audrey, good news, both my legs are broken so they can't take me straight to jail.

Fletcher

Tell Leo he's not God on the throne, he's just a cheap political boss with more hair tonic than brains.

Tom Reagan

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