Richard Brewer: Lord, forgive us for our wrongdoings, for our misguidance by heathen religions. Thank you for keeping us alive. Lord, be with us in doing the right thing. Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallow be thy name.
William H. Bonney: Please, Dick. It's getting cold. [Billy and Dick both pull guns] I could've killed you, Dick. I could've killed you, but I don't want to kill you. I want to eat.

Ted: Miss Preston, we'd like you to meet some of our friends.
Bill: This is, uh, Dave Beeth Oven.
Beethoven: Sie sind so schön, Madame.
Bill: And, uh, Maxine of Arc, Missy, Herman the Kid...
Ted: Bob "Genghis" Khan, Dennis Frood, So-crates Johnson, and, uh... Abraham Lincoln.
Miss Preston: It's so nice to meet you all. There's sodas in the fridge.

Guard: Are you the real Jack Sparrow?
Captain Jack Sparrow: There should be a Captain in there somewhere.

Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: You owe me money, blacksmith.
Doc: How do you figure?
Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: My horse threw a shoe. And seeing as you was the one who done the shoeing, I say that makes you responsible.
Doc: Well, since you never paid me for that job, I say that makes us even!
Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: Wrong! See I was ON my horse when it threw the shoe and I got throwed OFF! And THAT caused me to bust a perfectly good bottle of fine Kentucky red-eye. So, the way I figure it, blacksmith, you owe me five dollars for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.

She's watching Riverdance. I didn't know people still watched Riverdance.

Alex Rose

Seraph: The Oracle has many enemies, I had to be sure.
Neo: Of what?
Seraph: That you were The One.
Neo: You could've just asked.
Seraph: You do not truly know someone until you fight them.

Cody Maverick: Good ol' Shiverpool.
[makes fart noise]
Cody Maverick: Heh-heh. This place sucks, bro.

Grande, er... grande familio, grande tradizione de Christmas presents. Stupido.

Jamie

Dr. Buddy Rydell: She said she was going out with a friend named Andrea.
Dave Buznik: She doesn't have a friend named Andrea. Did she say Andrew?
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Oh, ah, yes Andrew... the testicle with legs.

Jerry, don't let me leave you this way.

Lise Bouvier

Senator Kelly: What the hell have you done to me?
Magneto: Senator, this is pointless. Who would take you in now that you're one of us?

You're starting a gang war. And the gang are professionals.

Wallenquist

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