We spared no expense.

John Hammond

Know your dope fiend. You will not be able to see his eyes because of tea shades, but his knuckles will be white from inner tension and his pants will be crusted with semen from constantly jacking off when he can't find a rape victim.

Voice of Drug Film Narrator

[last lines]
Matt Saunders: Wanna get a beer?
Professor Bedlam: Sure, let's do it.

How bad is it? You know, I used to smoke.

Ben Grimm

[Points out Alien graffiti] This is basically a guy, and there's 3 humans here, basically trying to make a warning, you know, saying "I kill 3 humans, watch out for me."

Wikus Van De Merwe

You're gonna walk out on me? You don't walk out on me. I walk out on you.


The porn I always liked when I was a kid, it was always a spoof of a popular movie... Fuckback Mountain... too soon?


I told you ogres don't live happily ever after!

Fairy Godmother

Translator: Right side. And with more... intensity. Okay?
Bob: Is that everything? It seemed like he said quite a bit more than that.
Director: [to Bob, in Japanese] Listen, listen. This isn't just about whiskey. Understand? Imagine you're talking to an old friend. Gently. The emotions bubble up from the bottom of your heart. And don't forget, psych yourself up!
Translator: Like an old friend. Into the camera.
Bob: Okay.
Director: [in Japanese] Got it? You LOVE whiskey. It's SUNTORY time. Okay!?
Bob: Okay.
Director: Okay!?
Bob: [nods]
Director: Okay!

Jack Twist: Ever notice how a woman'll powder her nose before a party starts, and the powder it again when the party's over? Why powder your nose just to go home to bed?
Randall Malone: Don't know. Even if I wanted to know, couldn't get a word in with Lashawn long enough to ask. Woman talks a blue streak.

Michael: I knew He'd send you, Gabriel. You were always so eager to please Him.
Gabriel: Unlike you... the rebellious son.

Attaboy! Keep him busy!

Joe Gould

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