Keith Frazier: Sorry to interrupt you, Mister Mayor, but there's an old American saying: When there's blood on the streets, somebody's gotta go to jail.

Turkey Creek Jack Johnson: Why you doin' this, Doc?
Doc Holliday: Because Wyatt Earp is my friend.
Turkey Creek Jack Johnson: Friend? Hell, I got lots of friends.
Doc Holliday: ...I don't.

With Major Lawrence, mercy is a passion. With me, it is merely good manners. You may judge which motive is the more reliable.

Prince Feisal

Yes, I think I'll have the mahi-mahi, but can I get it with just one mahi?

Shelley

Tumbler: Yo, so check out my new move. I call it "the Stranger." What I do is, I sit on my hand for, like, 15, 20 minutes, until it goes numb. No feeling at all. And then I rub one out.
Toby: "The Stranger," huh?
Atley Jackson: It's like a little boy's nursery school I've come upon here.

You don't expect your family to understand what you're doing. You just hope they'll accept it. And when you get home, you hope you can pick up right where you left off.

Navy Seal #1

Gangster: You got some big a** balls, man.
Noah: Can't find underwear. Balls don't fit.

[to Bree] Your tits are stupendous!

Trent

Danny: You're either in or you're out. Right now.
Linus: What is it?
Danny: It's a plane ticket. A job offer.
Linus: You're pretty trusting pretty fast.
Danny: Well Bobby has a lot of faith in you.
Linus: Fathers are like that.

You've gotta wait till the seed grows into a plant. Then you've gotta fuck the plant.

Cal

...And will you, for the love of God, put on a fucking shirt?

Phil Foster

Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast.
Champ Kind: It jumped up a notch.
Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart.
Ron Burgundy: I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.

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