Lord Wessex: I have spoken with your father.
Viola De Lesseps: So, my lord? I speak with him every day.

Penny Moore: You used to laugh at my jokes.
Judd Altman: No, I didn't.
Penny Moore: Yes, you did.
Judd Altman: Yes, I did, but your jokes used to be funnier.

James Sandin: Tonight allows people a release for all the hatred and violence that they keep up inside them.
Charlie Sandin: Why don't you guys kill someone tonight?
James Sandin: Because we don't feel the need to, Charlie.

I've been very lonely in my isolated tower of indecipherable speech.

Dr. Lester

Did you know that the institution of marriage was created when the average person lived to the age of 30.


Evelyn: Would you like to know what heaven looks like?
Rick: Later.

He's teaching me to change my instincts... or at least ignore them.


Man at Gas Station: Is there something wrong?
Anton Chigurh: With what?
Man at Gas Station: With anything?
Anton Chigurh: Is that what you're asking me? Is there something wrong with anything?

I am gonna give you the best blow J. With my mouth.


[with arms around Jack] C'mon now, you're sleepin' on your feet like a horse. My mama used to say that to me when I was little. And sing to me...

Ennis Del Mar

Very funny, George. This one will make you laugh.
[shoots George in the foot]

Jake Green

I can't wait to take leave so I can get me some fucking poontang.

Mr. Garrison

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