Go Go: Why are you stopping?
Wasabi: It’s a red light.
Go Go: There’s no red lights in car chases!

Eirik: I can't see! I can't see!
Ray: Of course you can't see! I just a shot a blank in your fucking eyes!

Euclid's first common notion is this

Abraham Lincoln

May I have the coin, please?

Dr. Stephen Maturin

On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

Narrator

Down here, if you ask five people about a demon story, they'll give you ten demon stories.

Cotton Marcus

Veronica Loughran: I'm sorry, Dante, I thought you understood!
Dante Hicks: I did understand! I understood that you had sex with three different guys and that's all you said!
Veronica Loughran: Please calm down.
Dante Hicks: How many?
Veronica Loughran: Dante...
Dante Hicks: How many dicks have you sucked?
Veronica Loughran: Let it go!
Dante Hicks: How many?
Veronica Loughran: All right, shut up a second and I'll tell you! Jesus! I didn't freak out like this when you told me how many girls you fucked!
Dante Hicks: This is different, this is important. How many? Well?
Veronica Loughran: Something like... 36.
Dante Hicks: What? Something like 36?
Veronica Loughran: Lower your voice.
Dante Hicks: Wait a minute, what is that anyway, something like 36? Does that INCLUDE me?
Veronica Loughran: Ummm... 37.
Dante Hicks: I'm 37?

Pete: There are five chairs in this hotel room!
Ben Stone: That's WAY too many chairs for one hotel room!

Scott Evil: I was thinking I like animals. Maybe I'd be a vet.
Dr. Evil: An evil vet?
Scott Evil: No! Maybe like work in a petting zoo.
Dr. Evil: An evil petting zoo?
Scott Evil: You always do that!

Old Bishop: [after William rides into the cathedral on a horse to woo Jocelyn] Ladies! Does this not shock you?
Jocelyn: [feigning sadness] I only laugh to keep from weeping.
Old Bishop: I know, child. Pray that the years come quickly for you, taking your beauty so that you may better serve Him.
Jocelyn: I do, every day.
[raises hands to face]
Jocelyn: God, why did you curse me with this face?
Old Bishop: God has a plan we know not.
[offers hand to Jocelyn to kiss]
Jocelyn: [goes to kiss hand, but instead admires a costly ring on his finger] Oh, that is lovely...

I don't want your life!

Mox

I've always been kind of a pacifist. When I was a kid, my father told me, "Never hit anyone in anger, unless you're absolutely sure you can get away with it." I don't know what kind of soldier I'm gonna make, but I want you guys to know that if we ever get into really heavy combat... I'll be right behind you guys. Every step of the way.

Russell Ziskey

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