Every time we have dealings with Starfleet, I get nervous.

David Marcus

...you do this thing... it's so cute I wanna kill myself.

Ben

Donny: How did you get this car?
Freb: Actually, the keys were in it.
Donny: Well, that kinda defies the point.
Memphis: You stole a car that wasn't on the list. Why don't you just go to the police station in a red clown suit and let everybody know what we're doing here?

Graham Hess: Don't touch him. Give him a minute.
Merrill: Graham...
Graham Hess: Give him a second.
Bo: Daddy...
Graham Hess: Don't touch him.
Merrill: Graham...
Graham Hess: Don't... Don't.
Morgan: Dad? What happened? Did someone save me?
Graham Hess: Yeah, baby, I think someone did.

Joel Goodson: Uh, my name isn't really Ralph. It's Joel.
Lana: Mmm. I'll be needing 300 dollars. Joel.
Joel Goodson: You're kidding.
Lana: No, I don't believe that I am.

A heh-heh-heh-heh.

Axel Foley

Mary: He MySpaced me.
Nathan: Ouch!
Mary: Oh.
Joshua: Oh girl I don't know about that... My trampy little sister says MySpace is the new booty call.

[to Shooter] Did that go in? I wasn't watching, did it go in? I didn't see it, could you tell me if it went in?

Happy Gilmore

I want to give this child a typical African-American name. Ojay.

Brüno

Randy Daytona: You got me swatting flies now?
Master Wong: Not hit flies. You hit bees!

The few syllables you got out were absolutely devastating.

Alex Fletcher

[a co-worker of Anna's asks her out] Keep moving, cheesedick.

Malcolm Crowe

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