Buddy: Who the heck are you?
Gimbel's Santa: What are you talkin' about? I'm Santa Claus.
Buddy: No, you're not.
Gimbel's Santa: Uh, why of course I am! Ho, ho, ho!

To Tom and Violet! (Raises a toast) One assumes that everything is going to turn out like some romantic comedy, but most engagements end up like Saving Private Ryan. Good luck. God knows you're going to need it.

Sylvia

Deputy Dwayne Powell Looney: Hey Jake, didn't you defend Billy Ray Cobb a few years back?
Jake Tyler Brigance: What kind of case was it?
Deputy Dwayne Powell Looney: Caught him selling dope. Spent time in Parchman. Got out last year.
Jake Tyler Brigance: I think some Memphis lawyer handled that. Why do you ask?
Deputy Dwayne Powell Looney: Well, we picked him up for rape. Him and Willard.
Jake Tyler Brigance: Who'd they rape?
Deputy Dwayne Powell Looney: You know Carl Lee Hailey?
Jake Tyler Brigance: Sure, I defended his brother Lester.
Deputy Dwayne Powell Looney: It was his little girl.

Gone! Gone! We've got to find him, you understand? We've got to find him before he kills someone! What have I done? Oh God in Heaven! What have I done?

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein

I was taking a piss when I heard the news, congratulations!

Jay

We need to come up with a slogan. You know, like "Life is like a box of chocolates," or "Take my hands, boss." Like that monster tard off of "Green Mile."

Gary

Norman Burroughs: Is he an MD doctor?
Deirdre Burroughs: Yes. And as I've told you a hundred times, he got his MD at Yale.
Norman Burroughs: You heard about this guy from where?
Deirdre Burroughs: Doctor Newpall. Augusten's allergist. If you were more of a man and involved in your son's life, you'd know who that was. I smell manure.
Norman Burroughs: I don't smell anything.
Deirdre Burroughs: I do, I smell manure. It's coming out of your ears.
Norman Burroughs: Fucking bitch.

I'm 546, I'm getting too old for this...

Papa

Old Biff: You always did have a way with women.
Young Biff: Get the hell out of my car, old man!
Old Biff: You wanna marry that girl, Biff? I can help make it happen.
Young Biff: Oh, yeah, who are you, Miss Lonely hearts?
Old Biff: Just get in the car, Butthead.
Young Biff: Who are you callin' "butthead." Butthead?

We're your friends, Rosemary. There's nothing to be scared about. Honest and truly there isn't!

Mrs. Gilmore

Feel her, feel her heartbeat, feel her breaths, feel her strong legs.

Neytiri

Try acting like a father, shithead.

Bart

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