[flipping frantically through the Bible] This book doesn't have any answers!Homer Simpson
This is my third marriage. How do you think that makes me look?Mr. Big
Benjamin: Hey Rosie, am I doing anything right?
Rosie: You're handsomer than the other dads. Lots of them don't have hair. So that's good.
You're stupid space car locked me in!Angie Ostrowiski
Dude, I never went to college and check me out. I'm kick ass!Lance
Meg: If we stay calm everything will be fine, okay? Just stay calm.
Sarah: You're making me nervous.
Meg: I'm sorry.
Magneto: I will bring you hope, old friend. And I ask only one thing in return: don't get in my way.
Magneto: We are the future, Charles, not them! They no longer matter!
Scott Evil: I was thinking I like animals. Maybe I'd be a vet.
Dr. Evil: An evil vet?
Scott Evil: No! Maybe like work in a petting zoo.
Dr. Evil: An evil petting zoo?
Scott Evil: You always do that!
I don't doubt myself because of you. I feel like the best version of myself when I'm with you, and that makes me doubt everything else.Father Brian Finn
[Watching Bob Rumson on TV]
Bob Rumson: Last night, the cost of those liberal programs was raised to include the blood of 22 American soldiers. Now, Mr. Shepherd's read a lot of books, but it doesn't take a Harvard degree to see this one coming a mile down the road.
President Andrew Shepherd: I went to Stanford, you blowhole!
Kevin: Well, you're all I think about.
Kevin: And I think the reason I'm not interested in other women, and why I haven't had sex in so long, is because I'm desperately, completely in love with you.
Darcy: Remember: They give extra points for alacrity and effulgence.
Kasey: Did we bring those?