Buzzie: So what we gonna do?
Flaps: I don't know. Hey, now don't start *that* again!
Father Brian Finn: You're a Sikh, Catholic Muslim with Jewish in-laws?
Indian Bartender: Yes. Yes. It gets very complicated. I'm reading Dianetics.
Father Brian Finn: Don't blame you.
Jake: Uh, Bob, about the money for tonight.
Bob: Oh, yeah... That's $200, and you boys drank $300 worth of beer.
Annabeth Markum: Celeste called looking for you. She was worried something might happen. She told me about Dave. Told me what she told you. What kind of wive says those things about her husband? And why'd she run to you?
Jimmy Markum: Why did not you call?
Annabeth Markum: Because it's like I told the girls. Their daddy is a king. And a king knows what to do and does it.
Hey, listen to Franklin's horoscope. "Travel in the country, long-range plans, and upsetting persons around you, could make this a disturbing and unpredictable day."Pam
McGivern: If I don't get total tit tonight, I will be using this razor to cut my throat. As I see it, sex is my only reason for living.
Charlie Dillon: Then be careful you don't cut your hand.
I am the only free man on this train! And the rest of you are CATTLE!Kostoyed Amourski
Ooh, a Mini-Doris! I didn't know you could do that!Bowler Hat Guy
David: Look at us. I'm frozen and you're dead, and I love you.
SofÃa: It's a problem.
David: I lost you when I got in that car. I'm sorry.
Carl Lee Hailey: What that Memphis doctor say about her?
Gwen Hailey: She's doing good. Her jaw is healing. She can't run and jump yet, but it won't be long.
Carl Lee Hailey: How about the other?
Gwen Hailey: There was too much damage. She ain't never gonna have kids.
Carl Lee Hailey: You know, I think about them too boys. Dead, buried, probably starting to rot. And I remember them walking into court... one proud, the other scared. I remember how they fell. One on top of the other, screaming and squirming and not going nowhere. God help me Gwen, but that's the only thought that give me comfort.
I never knew Canada could be this much fun.John McClane
If we are to survive as a species, we must resist the humans.David