Just call me Darth Balls... Bong.

Jay

How many times are you going to kill my dog Holmes?

Dr. John Watson

Christian Grey: It's just behind this door.
Anastasia Steele: What is?
Christian Grey: My playroom.
Anastasia Steele: Like your Xbox and stuff?
Christian Grey: It's important that you know you can leave at anytime.
Anastasia Steele: Why? What's in there?
Christian Grey: I meant what I said. The helicopter is on standby to take you whenever you want to go.
Anastasia Steele: Could you just open the door?
Anastasia Steele: [walks into the room] Oh my God.

Now they will know why they are afraid of the dark. Now they learn why they fear the night.

Thulsa Doom

[after kissing April] I am so lesbian right now.

Jessica (in Clive's body)

Steve Butabi: Oh my God, Doug. This is the most amazing place I've ever been.
Richard Grieco: Guys, guys. This is the coat room. The club's in here.

[on the phone] Well, Sir, Mr. Copeland was a bad man. He was gonna shoot one of my kids. Well, sir, you can blame me, I'm the one that shot him.

Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard

Now listen to me, my tough little friend. I don't know from under what stone you crawled, or where you get these ridiculous ideas about me, but it seems painfully obvious you haven't the slightest fucking idea who you're dealing with. Now, my advice to you is crawl back to your little stone in Detroit before you get squashed.

Victor Maitland

Capt. Ramsey: They gave me my command, a checklist, a target and a button to push. All I had to know was how to push it, and they'd tell me when. They seem to want you know why.
Hunter: I would hope they'd want us all to know why, sir.

Vladimir Wolodarsky: [talking about Jane] I like her hairdo.
Pelé dos Santos: Me too, but Steve called her first.

Dwight: He's got the drop on her!
Gail: He's got squat! He's dead. He's just too damn dumb to know it.

Elle: And wouldn't somebody who had, say, 30 perms before in their life be well aware of this rule, and if in fact you weren't washing your hair as I suspect you weren't because your curls are still intact, wouldn't you have heard the gunshot, and if in fact you had heard the gunshot Brooke Windham wouldn't have had time to hide the gun before you got downstairs. Which means you would have had to found Brooke Windham with a gun in her hand to make your story plausible, isn't that right?
Chutney Windham: She's my age! Did she tell you that? How would you feel if your father married someone who was your age?
Elle: You, however, Chutney had time to hide the gun after you shot your father.
Chutney Windham: [in tears] I didn't mean to shoot him!

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