Lt. Frank Drebin: How are the children?
Jane Spencer: We didn't have any children.
Lt. Frank Drebin: Yes, of course.
Jane Spencer: How was your prostate operation?
Lt. Frank Drebin: Oh, good. Fine. Never been better.

For no one - no one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not beasts. This you can trust.

Conan's Father

Balthasar: Pardon me - you are a stranger here. Would you be from Nazareth?
Judah Ben-Hur: Why do you ask?
Balthasar: I thought... you might be the one... the one I have come back from my country to find. He would be about your age.
Judah Ben-Hur: Who?
Balthasar: When I find him, I shall know him.

Thank you Clitoris!

Stan

What happened... was murder... and armed robbery. Wait, we had badges, so it's different?

Jake

Dr. Jean Grey: Girls flirt with the dangerous guy, they don't bring him home... I married a good guy.
Wolverine: I can be the good guy.
Dr. Jean Grey: Logan, the good guy sticks around.

Susie: You guys, I'm really going to miss this place.
Coop: Me too.
Ben: Hey, let's all promise that in ten years from today, we'll meet again, and we'll see what kind of people we've blossomed into.
Susie: Yeah!
Ben: What time do you wanna meet?
J.J.: You mean ten years from now?
Coop: Let's meet in the morning so we can make a day of it.
Susie: Okay, so what is it? Is it like 9:00? 9:30?
Coop: Well, let's say 9:00, that way we can be here by 9:30.
McKinley: Well, no, why don't we say 9:30, and then make it your beeswax to be here by 9:30? I mean, we'll all be in our late 20s by then. I just don't see any reason why we can't be places on time.
Gary: Okay, then, it's settled. 9:30 it is. All agreed?
Together: Agreed.
McKinley: Good, because I have something at 11:00.
Gary: You just have like a trapper-keeper full of appointments, right?
McKinley: No, I just have something at 11:00, and I can't change it, because I already moved it twice.

Junior O'Daniel: We could hire our own midget, even shorter than his.
Pappy O'Daniel: Wouldn't we look like a bunch of Johnny-come-latelies, bragging on our own midget, doesn't matter how stumpy.

[standing before a training dummy] Hey, what you got? You got nothing because I got it right here. You picking on my friends? Get ready to feel the thunder. Come out with the crazy feet. What you goin' to do about the crazy feet. I'm a blur! I'm a blur! You never seen *Bear* style!

Po

Pee-wee: Life can be so unfair.
Mickey: You telling ME?

That's the beauty of argument, if you argue correctly, you're never wrong.

Nick Naylor

[narrating] "9/11 showed us what human beings are capable of. The evil, yeah, sure. But it also brought out the goodness we forgot could exist. People taking care of each other for no other reason than it was the right thing to do. It's important for us to talk about that good, to remember. 'Cause I saw all of it that day."

John McLoughlin

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