I have a bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

Nick Naylor

Willy Wonka: Why, I believe they're going to treat us to a little song. It is quite a special occasion, of course. They haven't had a fresh audience in many a moon.
Oompa Loompa: [Oompa Loompas sing] Augustus Gloop, Augustus Gloop, a great big greedy nincompoop / Augustus Gloop, so big and vile, so greedy, foul, and infantile...

Roy Hobbs: I coulda been better. I coulda broke every record in the book.
Iris Gaines: And then?
Roy Hobbs: And then? And then when I walked down the street people would've looked and they would've said there goes Roy Hobbs, the best there ever was in this game.

Hamm: Wow. Impressive wingspan. Very good.
Woody: Oh, what? What? These are plastic. He can't fly.
Buzz: They are a terillium-carbonic alloy, and I can fly.
Woody: No, you can't.
Buzz: Yes, I can.
Woody: Can't.
Buzz: Can.
Woody: Can't, can't, ca-an't.
Buzz: I tell you, I could fly around this room with my eyes closed.
Woody: Okay, Mr. Lightbeer, prove it.
Buzz: All right then, I will.

I went to a rejuvenation clinic and got a whole natural overhaul. They took out some wrinkles, did hair repair, changed the blood, added a good 30 to 40 years to my life. They also replaced my spleen and colon. What do you think?

Doc

Archie was the bitch and Jughead was the butch. That's why he was always going around wearing that crown-looking hat... he was the king of queen Archie's world.

Hooper

We have to steal The Declaration of Independence!

Ben Gates

They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!

Hoover

Wallace: Reach for the sky, O'Bannon, ha ha!
Roy O'Bannon: That's my line. He stole my gang, he's stealing my lines. It's unbelievable!

Nick: Ready for another dip?
Lou: I think this time maybe I'll invent yoga pants.

David Mills: Do you like what you do for a living? These things you see?
Man in Massage Parlour Booth: No, I don't. But that's life.

Evan Simo: How come you're not at work?
Louis Simo: 'Cause I don't sit in an office, okay? That's for suckers. Your pop's an investigator, alright? Come on, let's go.
Evan Simo: I'm supposed to wait for mom.
Louis Simo: What?
Evan Simo: I'm supposed to wait for mom.
Louis Simo: Your mom and me, we don't...
[he puts his hand on his son's head]
Louis Simo: Evan. Evan. Nobody has magic powers. You got to be tough. You got to show them what you're made of, you know? My father never taught me that.

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