Ay ay ay if I want to hear you talk I will shove my arm up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet.

P.K. Highsmith

Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of. And unto this, Conan, destined to wear the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow. It is I, his chronicler, who alone can tell thee of his saga. Let me tell you of the days of high adventure!

The Wizard

John Beckwith: Claire's mom just made me grab her hooters.
Jeremy Grey: Well snap out of it! What, a hot older women made you feel her cans? Stop crying like a little girl.
John Beckwith: I wasn't crying like a little girl.
Jeremy Grey: Why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family and have some real problems, jackass. Hey, what were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat?
[makes sputtering motorboat noise]
Jeremy Grey: You motorboatin son of a bitch! You old sailor you! Where is she? She still in the house?

Torrance Shipman: Courtney, this is not a democracy, it's a cheerocracy. I'm sorry, but I'm overruling you.
Courtney: You are being a cheer-tator Torrance and a pain in my ass!

Death is but a doorway, time is but a window, I'll be back.


Do you remember in kindergarten,how you'd meet a kid, and know nothing about them, then 10 seconds later you'd be playing like you were best friends, because you didn't have to be anyone but yourself?

Gabrilla Montez

Will: Four minutes for a cup of coffee?
Will's Friend: Yesterday it was three!
Coffee worker: You want coffee or you want to reminisce?

[greeting Han Solo] Why, you slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler. You gotta lot of guts comin' here, after what you pulled.


Hello, I'm Baymax, your healthcare companion.


Kenny Fisher: I mean peep this - They say here 92 percent of the honeys at UCLA are sexually active. 92 percent of the women in Los Angeles at UCLA walking around going, "Class... or sex? What shall I do?" 92 percent, yo! Hey, you know what that means?
Ritchie Koolboy: What?
Kenny Fisher: It means I gots a 92 percent chance of embarrassing myself. I roll up on that shorty be like, "What's up yo?" she be like, "You don't know 20 different ways to make me call you Big Poppa" cuz I don't yo.

I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from 9-11, I told bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio because I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven.

Milton Waddams

Colonel Robert G. Shaw: [points at the flag bearer] If this man should fall, who will lift the flag and carry on?
Cpl. Thomas Searles: I will.
Colonel Robert G. Shaw: I'll see you in the fort, Thomas.

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