Madeliene White: Well detective, there are matters at stake here that are a little bit above your pay grade. No offense.
Keith Frazier: Well, why don't you just tell the mayor to raise my pay grade to the proper level, and problem solved.

[about Snow White] Although she lives with seven other men, she's actually not easy.

Magic Mirror

Sherman Schrader: Right, you date Monica Morlan
Hoyt Ambrose: That I do
Sherman Schrader: Right, I think of her while I masturb...

Ooh, if I just wasn't a lady, WHAT wouldn't I tell that varmint.


Rick Ford: You really think you're ready for the field? I once used defibrillators on myself. I put shards of glass in my fuckin' eye. I've jumped from a high-rise building using only a raincoat as a parachute and broke both legs upon landing; I still had to pretend I was in a fucking Cirque du Soleil show! I've swallowed enough microchips and shit them back out again to make a computer. This arm has been ripped off completely and re-attached with *this* fuckin' arm.
Susan Cooper: I don't know that that's possible... I mean medically...
Rick Ford: During the threat of an assassination attempt, I appeared convincingly in front of congress as Barack Obama.
Susan Cooper: In black-face? That's not appropriate.
Rick Ford: I watched the woman I love get tossed from a plane and hit by another plane mid-air. I drove a car off a freeway on top of a train while it was on fire. Not the car, *I* was on fire.
Susan Cooper: Jesus, you're intense.

Rachel Ferrier: What are we supposed to do for food?
Ray Ferrier: You know - order.

Linda: How 'bout a kiss?
Dr. Buddy Rydell: I'd love a kiss.
Dave Buznik: I think she talkin' to me. And, uh, I think I can handle it.

The universe is an infinite sphere whose center is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere.

Bernard Jaffe

I have to believe in a world outside my own mind. I have to believe that my actions still have meaning, even if I can't remember them. I have to believe that when my eyes are closed, the world's still there. Do I believe the world's still there? Is it still out there?... Yeah. We all need mirrors to remind ourselves who we are. I'm no different.

Leonard Shelby

Cpl. Thomas Searles: Who are these ragamuffins?
John Rawlins: Contraband soldiers, straight from the field.
Short contraband: Hey, we slaves in the field when the Yankee man come. Say we soldiers.

When the people a man needs get taken away from him, you can't ever go back to the way you were before.

BB Hensley

Eli: Dude!
Matthew: I know.
Klitz: Dude!
Matthew: I know.

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