This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You're probably high already and you don't even know it.

Spalding Smails

Walter Sobchak: Those rich fucks! This whole fucking thing... I did not watch my buddies die face down in the muck so that this fucking strumpet...
The Dude: I don't see any connection to Vietnam, Walter.
Walter Sobchak: Well, there isn't a literal connection, Dude.
The Dude: Walter, face it, there isn't any connection.

Craig Jones: We ain't got no sugar.
Smokey: No sugar? Damn. Y'all ain't never got two things that match. Either y'all got Kool-aid, no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Daaamn.

What you did was very spiteful, but it was also very brave and very honest and I respect you for doing that. But the content of what you said has made me hate you. So there's a layer of respect, admittedly, for your truthfulness, but it's peppered with hate. Hateful respect.

Aldous Snow

Tumbler: Yo, so check out my new move. I call it "the Stranger." What I do is, I sit on my hand for, like, 15, 20 minutes, until it goes numb. No feeling at all. And then I rub one out.
Toby: "The Stranger," huh?
Atley Jackson: It's like a little boy's nursery school I've come upon here.

[to Asian gangsters] Your head is going up his ass, his head is going up his ass, and you get the short end of the straw, cause your head is going up my ass!

Hancock

Regina: But you're, like, really pretty.
Cady: Thank you.
Regina: So you agree?
Cady: What?
Regina: You think you're really pretty?
Cady: Oh... I don't know

Tyler Durden: Fuck damnation, man! Fuck redemption! We are God's unwanted children? So be it!
Narrator: OK. Give me some water!
Tyler Durden: Listen, you can run water over your hand and make it worse or...
[shouts]
Tyler Durden: look at me... or you can use vinegar and neutralize the burn.
Narrator: Please let me have it... *Please*!
Tyler Durden: First you have to give up, first you have to *know*... not fear... *know*... that someday you're gonna die.

Nancy B. Artingstall: Do you know what? You play it too safe.
Susan Cooper: Oh maybe you're right. I just... I still, you know, hear my mom's voice... "well-behaved women often make history."
Nancy B. Artingstall: Yes you do know the phrase is, "well-behaved women *seldom* make history."
Susan Cooper: Yeah that's never how she said it.
Nancy B. Artingstall: What were her others, uh...
Susan Cooper: Oh, "just blend in, let somebody else win."
Nancy B. Artingstall: Classic.
Susan Cooper: I got that a lot in high school. And there was, "give up on your dreams, Susan." She used to write that in my lunchbox.

Mmm, yeah, I'm going to have to go ahead and ask you to come in on Sunday, too. We've got some new people coming in and we... need to play catch-up. Thanks!

Bill Lumbergh

Hedley Lamarr: My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention.
Taggart: Ditto.
Hedley Lamarr: "Ditto?" "Ditto," you provincial putz?

Officer Smy: [to Ursula] If you were my wife, I'd take you down a peg or two.
[to Foster]
Officer Smy: Hey douche bag.
Foster: [to Ursula] If you were my wife, I'd massage your feet 'til you fell asleep.
Ursula: Nice try.

FREE Movie Newsletter