Yale: You are so self-righteous, you know. I mean we're just people. We're just human beings, you know? You think you're God.
Isaac Davis: I... I gotta model myself after someone.

I just can't see God putting a gift like that in the hands of a man who would kill a child.

Paul Edgecomb

I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final, you know. I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. When I was thrown out, my mother, who was an emotionally high-strung woman, locked herself in the bathroom and took an overdose of Mah-Jongg tiles. I was depressed at that time. I was in analysis. I was suicidal as a matter of fact and would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian, and, if you kill yourself, they make you pay for the sessions you miss.

Alvy Singer

Terry Leather: So, you're getting married tomorrow Ingrid?
Ingrid Burton: I hope so.
Terry Leather: Go on, get off home, go make yourself more beautiful than you already are... if that's possible.

Mr. Gibbs: Then, on the fourth day, he roped himself a couple of sea turtles, lashed 'em together and made a raft.
Will Turner: He roped a couple of sea turtles.
Mr. Gibbs: Aye. Sea turtles.
Will Turner: What did he use for rope?
Jack Sparrow: [from beside them] Human hair.
Jack Sparrow: From my back.

I'm going to make you my Wee-yotch!

Chase Collins

Holy crap on a shit sandwich!

Drillbit Taylor

Is your act just designed to make sure no girl will ever sleep with you?

George Simmons

Stacy Hamilton: When a guy has an orgasm, how much comes out?
Linda Barrett: A quart or so.

Gabrilla Montez: [about singing previously] Well, you sound like you've done a lot of singing, too.
Troy Bolton: Yeah, my showerhead is very impressed.

[to Indy] Asps... very dangerous. You go first.


Tuck: So you're not backing off?
FDR: Nope.

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