Bobby Jordan: [Pushing Jack into the lockers] Make me laugh, asshole.
Judy Danvers: Jack, come on, he's an asshole.
Bobby Jordan: Shut the fuck up skank.
Jack Stall: [Jack kicks Bobby's buddy in the groin and moves to Bobby] Come her you fuck!
[Jack punches Bobby and brings him to the ground]
Jack Stall: You cocksucking motherfucker!

I've done some things in my life I'm not proud of, but this is the first time I've ever felt in real danger of hell.

Paul Edgecomb

Come back, you fat, bearded bitch!

Dark Helmet

Neo: I just haven't been able to sleep much.
Councillor Harmann: It's a good sign.
Neo: Of what?
Councillor Harmann: That you are, in fact, still human.

Frank: I take it you didn't like it at Sunset Manor?
Sheryl: Frank...
Grandpa: Are you kidding me? It was a fucking paradise. They got pool... They got golf... Now I'm stuck with Mr. Happy here, sleeping on a fucking sofa. Look, I know you are a homo and all, but maybe you can appreciate this. You go to one of those places, there's four women for every guy. Can you imagine what that's like?
Frank: You must have been very busy.
Grandpa: Ho oh. I had second degree burns on my johnson, I kid you not.
Frank: Really?
Grandpa: Forget about it.

Donkey: Man, you are a cat-tastrophe.
Puss in Boots: And you, are ri-donk-ulous.
[Both laugh]

Henry 'Razor' Sharp: What's so funny?
Dante Slate, Jr.: The last person down there gets fifty grand!
Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Shit!

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You went upstairs? Why didn't you just crawl into bed with her ask a bedtime story?

Emily

Only my friends can call me a little wop!

Angelo Maggio

Ponton: Have you ever had a hamburger?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well, of course not. It's a disgusting American food.

I have no socks left around these holes.

Julien Doinel

At least I have a fuckin' job.

B. Rabbit

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