Carter: How long this flight?
Lee: Fifteen hours.
Carter: Fifteen hours? What are we gonna do for fifteen hours?
Lee: [Puts on head phones and begins to sing] Huh! War! Uh! Good God "yaw."
Carter: Oh, hell no! Stewardess! Get me another seat!

Marriage Counselor: On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the happiness of your marriage?
Jane Smith: 8.
John Smith: Wait. Could you clarify? Is 10 the highest? 10 being perfectly happy and 1 being totally miserable or...
Marriage Counselor: Just respond instinctively.
John Smith: Ok. Ready?
Jane Smith, John Smith: 8.

They're all here, aren't they? All the ghosts... All the ghosts are assembling for the party!


Larry: I used to come here when it was a punk club. The stage was... Everything is a version of something else. Twenty years ago. How old were you?
Alice: Four.
Larry: Christ. When I was in flares, you were in nappies.
Alice: My nappies were flared.

Statler: Is this movie in 3-D?
Waldorf: Nope! The Muppets are as one-dimensional as they've always been!

This class will be a waste of your - and what is infinitely worse - my time.


Indiana Jones: Wear your jewels to bed Princess?
Willie: Yeah... and nothing else. Shock you?
Indiana Jones: Nothing shocks me. I'm a scientist.

Drivers can't stand to be reminded of what can happen to 'em in a racecar. They, they don't go to hospitals, they don't go to funerals. You get a driver to a funeral before he's actually dead, you've made history, darlin'.

Harry Hogge

there is a painful difference between the expectation of an unpleasant event and its final certainty.

Elinor Dashwood

Listen to me Anthony. I got your head in a fuckin' vise. I'll squash your head like a fuckin' grapefruit if you don't give me a name!

Nicky Santoro

I like it here. It's a quiet place. You've got the right idea, Nell. You live with people, you get problems. First they screw you up, then they leave you, right?


Captain Steven Hiller: Oh! Oh! Elvis has left the building!
David Levinson: Oh, thank you very much. Oh, I love you man!

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