Carter: How long this flight?
Lee: Fifteen hours.
Carter: Fifteen hours? What are we gonna do for fifteen hours?
Lee: [Puts on head phones and begins to sing] Huh! War! Uh! Good God "yaw."
Carter: Oh, hell no! Stewardess! Get me another seat!
Marriage Counselor: On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the happiness of your marriage?
Jane Smith: 8.
John Smith: Wait. Could you clarify? Is 10 the highest? 10 being perfectly happy and 1 being totally miserable or...
Marriage Counselor: Just respond instinctively.
John Smith: Ok. Ready?
Jane Smith, John Smith: 8.
They're all here, aren't they? All the ghosts... All the ghosts are assembling for the party!Julia
Larry: I used to come here when it was a punk club. The stage was... Everything is a version of something else. Twenty years ago. How old were you?
Larry: Christ. When I was in flares, you were in nappies.
Alice: My nappies were flared.
Statler: Is this movie in 3-D?
Waldorf: Nope! The Muppets are as one-dimensional as they've always been!
This class will be a waste of your - and what is infinitely worse - my time.Nash
Indiana Jones: Wear your jewels to bed Princess?
Willie: Yeah... and nothing else. Shock you?
Indiana Jones: Nothing shocks me. I'm a scientist.
Drivers can't stand to be reminded of what can happen to 'em in a racecar. They, they don't go to hospitals, they don't go to funerals. You get a driver to a funeral before he's actually dead, you've made history, darlin'.Harry Hogge
there is a painful difference between the expectation of an unpleasant event and its final certainty.Elinor Dashwood
Listen to me Anthony. I got your head in a fuckin' vise. I'll squash your head like a fuckin' grapefruit if you don't give me a name!Nicky Santoro
I like it here. It's a quiet place. You've got the right idea, Nell. You live with people, you get problems. First they screw you up, then they leave you, right?Jerry
Captain Steven Hiller: Oh! Oh! Elvis has left the building!
David Levinson: Oh, thank you very much. Oh, I love you man!