[praying] Dear God, I know I don't believe in you, but since I'll be starting catholic school soon, I though I should at least practice. Let's see. What do I want? I want Lisa to realize what a bitch she is and feel really bad and apologize for how she hurt me and know how much I still love her. In spite of everything, I still want Paul to win the election tomorrow, not that cunt Tracy. Oh, and I also want a really expensive pair of leather pants and someday, I wanna be really good friends with Madonna. Love, Tammy.

Tammy Metzler

Nagini tells me that the old Muggle caretaker is standing right outside the door. Step aside, Wormtail, so that I can give our guest a proper greeting. Avada Kedavra!

Voldemort

In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few ball games, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar!

Harry Doyle

To get ahead in this world, you need more than fair looks and a kind heart.

Sir Thomas Boleyn

Pee-wee: Life can be so unfair.
Mickey: You telling ME?

Consult your doctor before using this product. Side effects may include oily discharge, hives, loss of appetite, low blood pressure. If you have diabetes or a history of kidney trouble, you're dead, asshole!

Jack

STOP! Lemme tell something to joo... I know size can be daunting... but don't be afraid... I love you!

Ramón

Thank you for loving me.

Joe Black

Kaa: You're s-s-snoring.
Mowgli: [asleep] Sorry.

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Helen: Oh my God, you got food poisoining from that restaurant, didn't you.
Annie: No, I had the same thing that she had and I feel fine.
[As Becca starts to feel sick and attempts to control pucking]

Simon: Back then, everybody had a name. I was Simple Simon.
Robyn: Kids, kids are mean.
Simon: Kids are honest.

I thank you. Mr. Jingles thank you, my mom would thank you too but she's dead.

Eduard Delacroix

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