Everything has a weakness.

Merrill

Rudy: I'm sorry I never got you to see your first game in here.
Fortune: Hell I've seen too many games in this stadium.
Rudy: I thought you said you never saw a game...
Fortune: I've never seen a game from the stands.
Rudy: You were a player?

Drunk Guy in Yugo: Are you off duty?
Nick: This isn't a cab.
Drunk Guy in Yugo: Are you off duty?
Nick: It's not a cab, my friend, I promise you.

Colonel Brighton: Look, sir, we can't just do nothing. General Allenby: Why not? It's usually best.

Sweet Joesph, my son's a fairy.

Vance Wilder, Sr.

Roy: Lord, help me. Just let me know you're there. Love me, hate me, but let me know you're up there.
[pause]
Roy: Hey, I can see our hotel from here. Wow.

Wat: I don't understand women.
Chaucer: Nor do I. But they understand us. Well, maybe not you.

You should see the other guy!

Carl Showalter

Dark Helmet: Before you die there is something you should know about us, Lone Star.
Lone Starr: What?
Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
Lone Starr: What's that make us?
Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become.

I guess we're all two people.

Batman

Mac MacGuff: And this, of course, is Juno.
Mark Loring: Juno, like the city in Alaska?
Juno MacGuff: No.
Mark Loring: Oh okay...

Jessica: I'm gonna deal with you later!
Maggie: You might wanna deal with that hair first, because it looks like shit.

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