Police! Move and I'll kill you!Sergeant Taggart
Jenny Johnson: [after breaking the bed while having sex] I'm sorry. I'll get you a new one.
Matt Saunders: A bed or a penis?
Jenny Johnson: Both.
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: Doctor Nichols, you really want to help him? You really want to be his friend? Then you'll help us bring him in, unharmed.
Dr. Charles Nichols: Why? So he can go back to prison? Tsk, tsk, tsk. If you want help, gentlemen, you've come to the wrong man. Richard is innocent and you'll never find him. He's too smart.
Marissa: Just as long as you promise to take it easy.
Frank: What do you mean?
Marissa: You know exactly what I mean. You've come along way since Frank the Tank and we don't want him coming back do we?
Frank: Honey, Frank the Tank is not coming back, ok? That part of me is over. Water under the bridge. I promise.
It stinks like sex in here.Thorny
Tom Riddle: Who are you?
Albus Dumbledore: Well, I'm like you, Tom. I'm different.
Tom Riddle: Prove it.
Joey: Mr. Morgan, is there any chance we could get Kat to take her Midol *before* she comes to class?
Mr. Morgan: Someday, you gonna get bitch-slapped and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it.
You want I should wipe the dead bugs off the windshield, ma'am?Elwood
Juba: Can they hear you?
Juba: Your family. In the afterlife.
Maximus: Oh yes.
Juba: What do you say to them?
Maximus: To my son - I tell him I will see him again soon. To keep his heels down while riding his horse. To my wife... that is not your business.
By the hymen of Olivia Newton-John!Ron Burgundy
Your quest of the absolute led you straight to a zero. For you who don't know Balzac, it concerns "A Shady Business".Petite Feuille
J.D.: Wanna go out tonight? Catch a movie? Miniature golf?
Veronica Sawyer: I was thinking more along the lines of slitting Heather Duke's wrists open, making it look like suicide.
J.D.: Ah, now you're talking. I can be up for that. I've already started underlining meaningful passages in her copy of Moby Dick, if you know what I mean.