Frankie Dunn: How many eyes do you need to finish this fight?
Maggie Fitzgerald: One's enough.

Asian Journalist: Mr. President, what place do you think you will have in history?
George W. Bush: History? In history we'll all be dead!

Walter Donovan: You could go down in history.
Indiana Jones: As what? A Nazi stooge like you?
Walter Donovan: The Nazis? Is that the limit of your vision? The Nazis want to write themselves into the Grail legend, take on the world. Well, they're welcome to it. But I want the Grail itself, the cup that gives everlasting life. Hitler can have the world, but he can't take it with him. I'm going to be drinking my own health after he's gone the way of the dodo.

Burnett: What did you do? We came here to help stop the killing! Who are you to...
John Rambo: [grabs Burnett by the throat, and slams him up against a support beam] Who are you?
Sarah: Let him go!
John Rambo: They would've raped her fifty times... and cut your fucking heads off. Who are you? Who are any of you?

I never said I was a golden god... did I?

Russell Hammond

You know, he don't have a straight angle in that whole god-damned porch, or the whole house for that matter. He is the worst damn carpenter.


Very well. The burden is on me not to destroy all the droids before you get there.


Here's the plan. We don't even stop. Ride like hell. Tonight we keep right on going. We'll walk the horses.

Earl Bassett

Sally Albright: Well, if you must know, it was because he was very jealous, and I had these days of the week underpants.
Harry Burns: Ehhhh. I'm sorry. I need the judges ruling on this. "Days of the weeks underpants"?
Sally Albright: Yes. They had the days of the week on them, and I thought they were sort of funny. And then one day Sheldon says to me, "You never wear Sunday." It was all suspicious. Where was Sunday? Where had I left Sunday? And I told him, and he didn't believe me.
Harry Burns: What?
Sally Albright: They don't make Sunday.
Harry Burns: Why not?
Sally Albright: Because of God.

James Van Der Beek: [about Dawson's Creek] You actually watch that show?
Jay: Yeah, for Joey, man. She is too fine. Did you ever get to third base with her?
James Van Der Beek: Well, actually there was this one time..

Mac MacGuff: Did you see that coming?
Bren: Yeah... but I was hoping she was expelled, or into hard drugs.
Mac MacGuff: Or DWI... anything but this.

Judge B. Bennet Galloway: Mr. Jackson, six months ago you were caught shoplifting at a Stop 'N Shop, with a box full of Ding Dongs and a six pack of Banana Strawberry Boone's Farm.
LeeJohn: Uh, your honor, it was Goober Grape.
Judge B. Bennet Galloway: When the arresting officer searched you, he found a twenty dollar bill in your pocket. Why didn't you just pay for it?
LeeJohn: Because this dude named Bo-Peep was on my ass about twenty dollars and I...

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