Greg Focker: Hey, Dad, you shouldn't take Moses into the RV. Jack and Dina have a cat.
Bernie Focker: Oh, Moses is fine. He's perfectly trained.
Greg Focker: Dad, he humps everything that moves.
Roz Focker: [Laughing] He's like your father!
Bernie Focker: I never cheated on you!
Torrance Shipman: Do you know what this means? My entire cheerleading career has been a lie.
Missy: Well, look on the bright side - It's only cheerleading!
Torrance Shipman: I *am* only cheerleading.
Maya: I saw your friend Gordon this morning
Dennis: I'll replace anything he stole.
What if I send in the tape and they don't like it? I mean, what if they say I'm no good? What if they say "Get outta here, kid. You got no future."? I mean, I just don't think I can take that kind of rejection. Jesus, I'm starting to sound like my old man!Marty McFly
[with arms around Jack] C'mon now, you're sleepin' on your feet like a horse. My mama used to say that to me when I was little. And sing to me...Ennis Del Mar
Johnny Truelove: You ever have that dream: the one where you did something... You don't know why, but you can never go back?
Lady at polo match: Edward is our most eligible bachelor, everyone is trying to land him.
Vivian: Oh, I'm not trying to land him, I'm just using him for sex.
Dick Hallorann: Some places are like people: some shine and some don't.
Dante Hicks: She was supposed to meet Brad Michaelson in a dark bedroom. She picked the wrong one. She didn't even know I was at the party.
Randal Graves: Oh my God.
Dante Hicks: Great story, huh?
Randal Graves: That girl was vile to you.
Stomach of the week. Unemployed actor had frankfurter, french fries, alcohol, and sperm. Hell of a last supper, don't you think?Ray Pinker
Elvira: You know what you're becoming, Tony? You're an immigrant spick millionaire, who can't stop talking about money...
Tony Montana: Who the fuck you calling a spick, mang? You white piece of bread. Get outta the way of the television.
Elliot: What do I do?
Michael: I don't know. You have absolute power, remember?