If basketball is all you care about, why you bonin' me? Why don't you bone Dick Vital?


We can't bury Shelly. S-She's a friend of ours.


Justin Shipman: Hey, I have to tell you something!
Torrance Shipman: I'm on the phone creep!
Justin Shipman: I realize that, and normally I'd be listening on the other line, but this is important.
Torrance Shipman: Okay, what?
Justin Shipman: [farts twice]
Torrance Shipman: Ugh! Get Out!
Justin Shipman: Thank you for listening.

Ms. Perky: Nine schools in ten years. My, my. Army brat?
Cameron: Yeah, my dad is, uh...
Ms. Perky: That's enough. I'm sure you won't find Padua any different than your old schools. Same little asswipe shit-for-brains everywhere.
Cameron: Excuse me? Did you just say... am I in the right office?
Ms. Perky: Not any more you're not. I've got deviants to see and a novel to finish. Now scoot. Scoot!

Steven Connolly: Can I smoke, Miss?
Sheba Hart: You can do what you want, but enough of this 'Miss'.
Steven Connolly: [laughs] Were you a model once?
Sheba Hart: [shakes her head]
Steven Connolly: Well you should've been. You're a right fit.
Sheba Hart: Gosh but don't I know it.
Steven Connolly: [smiles] You're into The Streets?
Sheba Hart: Mmm, no, my daughter is.
Steven Connolly: She the same age as me?
Sheba Hart: None of your beezwax.
Steven Connolly: [laughs] Well, anyway, the point is - you're fit.
Sheba Hart: So are you.
Steven Connolly: You're right. My sister thinks I look like a board with measles.
[pause as Sheba smiles and watches him]
Sheba Hart: You've done my brain in.

It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.


Travis: I joined this program and there's steps. There's... uh...
Cher: Twelve?
Travis: Yeah, how'd you know?
Cher: Wild guess.

Hey, Sweden!


Rusty: You'd need at least a dozen guys doing a combination of cons.
Danny: Like what, do you think?
Rusty: Off the top of my head, I'd say you're looking at a Boeski, a Jim Brown, a Miss Daisy, two Jethros and a Leon Spinks, not to mention the biggest Ella Fitzgerald ever!

I'm half and half. Dad's a muggle, Mam's a witch. Bit of a nasty shock for him when he found out.

Seamus Finnigan

Hamish: What in the hell are the Irish doing fighting with the English?
Stephen: I wouldn't worry about them. Like I said, it's my island.
William Wallace: Your island?
Stephen: MY ISLAND. Yup.

Shoe-Spotting Intern: Hey, you're missing a shoe.
Christopher Gardner: Oh, hey, thanks!

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