First prize at the World Series of Poker is a million bucks. Does it have my name on it? I don't know. But, I'm gonna find out.

Mike McDermott

Max Fischer: The truth is, neither one of us has the slightest idea where this relationship is going. We can't predict the future.
Rosemary Cross: We don't have a relationship.
Max Fischer: But we're friends.
Rosemary Cross: Yes, and that's all we're *going* to be. Well, yes...
Max Fischer: That's all I meant by "relationship." You want me to grab a dictionary?

Admiral Benson: Pete 'Dead Meat' Thompson is dead. So is Mo Green, Tataglia, Barzini, the heads of all the five families. It is at moments like these, my dear friends, that we must ask ourselves: "How can this not be part of some larger plan?" Do good men like Dead Meat Thompson just blink out one day like a bad bulb? I mean, one minute you're in bed with a knockout gal... or guy, and the next, you're a compost heap. Doesn't that bother any of you? Because it scares the living piss outta me!

Dan Foreman: I'm not gonna try to sell you.
Eugene Kalb: Why the hell not? You're a salesman.
Dan Foreman: Yeah. Just not a very good one, that's all.
Eugene Kalb: I'll say.
Dan Foreman: But I am going to ask you one favor.
Eugene Kalb: Oh, yeah?
Dan Foreman: I'm gonna leave you an issue of the magazine and I'm personnally gonna send you a new one every week. Now, I'll call you in a few weeks, and if you want to we'll talk. There's a great article in there comparing today's quarterbacks with Johnny Unitas.
Eugene Kalb: [scoffs] Unitas would kick their butts. So this is your sales pitch?
Dan Foreman: I've been with the magazine for 20 years. I believe in it.

Indiana: Hello, Marion.
Marion: Indiana Jones. I always knew some day you'd come walking back through my door. I never doubted that. Something made it inevitable. So, what are you doing here in Nepal?
Indiana: I need one of the pieces your father collected.

Mike McDermott: If you had it to do all over again, knowing what would happen, would you make the same choice?
Professor Petrovsky: What choice?

Lori: Doug, honey... you wouldn't hurt me, would you, sweetheart? Sweetheart, be reasonable. After all, we're married!
Douglas Quaid: Consider that a divorce!

If basketball is all you care about, why you bonin' me? Why don't you bone Dick Vital?


Hey, Sweden!


Ms. Perky: Nine schools in ten years. My, my. Army brat?
Cameron: Yeah, my dad is, uh...
Ms. Perky: That's enough. I'm sure you won't find Padua any different than your old schools. Same little asswipe shit-for-brains everywhere.
Cameron: Excuse me? Did you just say... am I in the right office?
Ms. Perky: Not any more you're not. I've got deviants to see and a novel to finish. Now scoot. Scoot!

Steven Connolly: Can I smoke, Miss?
Sheba Hart: You can do what you want, but enough of this 'Miss'.
Steven Connolly: [laughs] Were you a model once?
Sheba Hart: [shakes her head]
Steven Connolly: Well you should've been. You're a right fit.
Sheba Hart: Gosh but don't I know it.
Steven Connolly: [smiles] You're into The Streets?
Sheba Hart: Mmm, no, my daughter is.
Steven Connolly: She the same age as me?
Sheba Hart: None of your beezwax.
Steven Connolly: [laughs] Well, anyway, the point is - you're fit.
Sheba Hart: So are you.
Steven Connolly: You're right. My sister thinks I look like a board with measles.
[pause as Sheba smiles and watches him]
Sheba Hart: You've done my brain in.

Travis: I joined this program and there's steps. There's... uh...
Cher: Twelve?
Travis: Yeah, how'd you know?
Cher: Wild guess.

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